Our Story-Befriended

Okay, no more comments about how me and my mom dressed to go fishing! I was told to wear dark colors because of the mosquitoes. That's all I had that was dark! Now, as for my mother, that lady wears high heels with her pajamas, so I can't do a thing about it...Now on to us...

Been thinking about your story? Me too. And I've also been thinking about this next line in Matt Redman's song. Befriended, befriended by the King above all Kings. What would it mean to be befriended? I can't think of the word friend and not think of Abraham. On multiple occasions Abraham was called a "friend of God." Can you imagine? Can you imagine the chronicles of time being written and generations three, four, five times removed reading about your life, and next to your name sat the words "friend of God?" But it has to be possible doesn't it? If it was possible for Abraham doesn't it have to be possible for you and I?

And what does being a friend with God look like? What does it look like in the aspect of "our stories"? There's a story about Abraham right in Genesis 18, before God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah. You remember the one where Lot's wife turns into a pillar of salt. Well, there is a powerful interchange between friends before that ever happens. Abraham's sitting out underneath an oak tree by the tie back flap of his tent. And it's hot! And I mean hotter than a southern, hazy, humidity infested August afternoon hot. And out there he sits when he sees some men in the distance. And he runs. Why? Because he knows who it is. The very next verse says so, when he addresses one of the men as "My Lord." And then he adds, "Do not pass me by."

I know now a days when our phones rings pictures pop up or names pop up to tell us who is calling. But before all these highfalutin' things we still knew the voice of a friend when it was on the other end. Shoot, a real friend we can recognize even a hundred yards away. We can tell by their very walk, their very mannerisms who it is. It's the familiarity of friendship.

And Abraham knew. The relationship he had spent decades cultivating with the Lord, well, he knew. And Abraham didn't want God passing by without spending time with him. And at the end of that chapter the Lord takes Abraham to an even deeper place of friendship. The kind of friendship that doesn't want to keep anything from one another. Because the Lord and the other two men turn to face Sodom. And what does Abraham do? He turns too. Wherever the Lord is going he wants to be. I wonder if God chuckled? I wonder if He thought, that's my Abe, no matter what, I know he wants to hang out with me.

In the next passage the Lord looks at his other two friends and says, "Shall I hide from Abraham [My friend, and servant] what I am going to do...For I have known (chosen, acknowledged) him [as My own] so that he may teach and command his children and the sons of his house after him to keep the way of the Lord and to do what is just and righteous..." Can't you see Abraham? I imagine him like my dog Maggie when I pick up her tennis ball. She's bouncing all over, just waiting, wanting it so bad. I can see Abraham just kind of bouncing there in the sand. The dust kicking up around his sandals. God is about to tell him a secret. And not only that, God knows him. Really knows him. Knows how desperately he's longed for a child. Knows how he's loved Him with all of his heart even on the days he felt his heart would break. God knows him.

We're told that the two other men leave and head toward Sodom and that Abraham comes close to the Lord. His relationship with God let's him know that God enjoys his company. Coming close is okay. And that's when the dialogue begins. I love the dialogue part of a good story. And it doesn't get any better than this.
"Will you destroy the righteous with the wicked?" Abraham asks "What if there are 50 righteous? ...Shall not the Judge of all the earth execute judgement and do righteously?"
"If I find 50 I'll spare the whole place." God answers.
Abraham steps a little farther. "I know I'm just dust and ashes and all Lord, but what if there are just 45?"
"If I find forty-five, I will not destroy it."
Abraham steps even farther. "What about 40?"
"I will not do it for the sake of 40."
Abraham's biting his nails about now. "Oh, please don't be angry with me. But Suppose only 30 can be found there."
"I won't do it for thirty." I can imagine a slight smile across the Lord's face.
Abraham presses in even farther. "Suppose only 20 can be found there."
"I will not destroy it for 20."
He steps right up next to the Lord, lifting his eyes up to the God of the universe. "Oh, Lord, please don't be angry with me, and I will speak again only this once. Suppose ten [righteous people] shall be found there."
And the Lord said, "I will not destroy it for 10."
And then the Lord left.

Ever had questions for God? Ever had moments where you just wondered what if? I've learned God can handle our questions. But what often prevents us from asking any questions at all goes to the heart of friendship. We're not afraid to ask questions of our friends. We'll ask them to watch the dogs while we're away, babysit the kids when we need a night out with our spouse, pick up the mail while we're out of town. But conversation with God? What is that? It's based in friendship.

Abraham built a relationship with God because he wouldn't let God get away. Anytime. He wouldn't let God just walk by his house. He stopped Him. He wouldn't let God and the other three men get up and walk away from the dinner table and head toward Sodom. He followed them. But we too often let God get away. There is a passage of scripture that is very true, "Seek me while I may be found." So often we feel that tugging. That tug on our heart that whispers, "Come away with me. Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking." And we think we can send ourselves a text message, or stick a post-it note on the mirror to remind us to take up with God on this matter at a more convenient time. But God isn't our e-mail buddy. We don't form true relationships on Facebook, or through e-mails, or text messages. Relationships, friendships, are formed when we spend three hour dinners, like the one I spent with my best friend Deneen on my birthday, catching up on everything from our favorite lipgloss to the things God's been speaking to our hearts. Friendships are formed when we know the details of a persons "story", so much so that when we see them down the street we know them by their walk.

God wants a relationship with us. He wants us to know Him that intimately. But do we? Can we discern the difference between his speaking to our hearts and our own desires? Can we see Him coming in our direction and recognize Him simply by the way He walks? Do we know that He has secret things He desires to reveal to us, secret places in Him He longs to take us to and amazing things He desires to do for us. Do we know? If we've become His friend we do.

For many years whenever difficult things have come my way or wonderful things have happened to me, I've had a friend I would always tell immediately. This past year I found that relationship stripped away. So, when difficult moments have come or exciting things have happened, my first reaction has been to pick up the phone and call my mom or someone. But I've done things differently this year. Why? Because this year I made the decision that I wanted God to call me friend. I want to know His walk. I want to know His heartbeat for me and those that I love. I want to know the story He's called me to write.

So, just the other night I got the tap on the shoulder. You know the tap. You're standing on the edge of the cliff and it's that final nudge that sends you tumbling over the edge. It wasn't any big thing. My real-estate agent had simply called to ask me if he could do an open house on Sunday. But it just happened to be my edge of the cliff tap. And over the cliff tumbling I went. By the time I came up for air my mascara was down my face, my eyes were bloodshot and I was expected for dinner with friends. I grabbed the necessary make-up articles to help me resemble normal again and got in the car. But I didn't grab the phone. Instead I began pouring my heart out to my friend. I asked Him to help me understand where this feeling "overwhelming" feeling was coming from. Was too much on my plate? Had I committed to something I shouldn't have? Was I putting my efforts into something that wasn't His plan for my life?

I didn't get an immediate answer. But what I did get was Abraham persistent. I kept following Him. As I drove back home that night I asked him again. Before I turned out the lights I asked Him again. When I woke up I was asking Him again. And as I was reading and studying that next morning, I was reading from a book I would highly recommend to anyone longing to hear the voice of God better, Walking with God, by John Eldridge, and God showed me what was happening. That sometimes emotions come in advance of where we're headed. And that "overwhelming" feeling was the enemy trying to convince me that there was too much on my plate. That something had to come off. And had I given into that emotion, I would have let go of something that the Lord had specifically called me to do. And each thing I had committed to He had confirmed to me multiple times.

Friendship got me my answer. Calling on the one, who has now truly become more than just my Father, my Lord, but now, my best friend, before I picked up the phone and called someone else got me my answer. And being persistent didn't hurt either.

One of the most important parts to our story is the privilege of friendship. You and I have been given the privilege of being friends with the Creator of the Universe. And yet we settle for so much less. As you and I write this next chapter of our lives may we listen to the tugs on our heart, may we be persistent if necessary and may we get so familiar with our God that we know Him by His walk. If we do, then others might recognize us by ours...

May this week find us writing some good dialogue...Until next week...Denise

Our Story

My mother and I are officially the same age...I know. You didn't think it was possible. But a few years back she found an age she liked and decided she'd have birthdays, but no more aging. She was going to be this year forever. You've noticed by now I'm not telling what in the world that age is! But on July 16th, I officially reached it and now I have no choice but to stop aging myself, or become older than my mother. And that might not be too far of a stretch. Because as recently as a couple weeks ago, while we were walking up the street in Columbia, South Carolina, a young man gave us a big old white smile and asked if we were sisters.

(Me & Mom fishing-obviously she's having better luck than me...)

She was like a giddy school girl, I gave him a raised right eyebrow. But I can say this, if I look as good as her when I do reach the age she refuses to say she is, I'll be one lucky girl.

But birthdays have a way of causing us to reflect. And this year has brought great reflecting for me. At my church my pastor has been doing a series called "The Story." One of my favorite writers John Eldridge writes a great deal about "Our Story". And yesterday in church we were singing a song by Matt Redman, that is pretty new to me, but probably familiar to a lot of you that says,
This will be my story.
This will be my song.
You will always be my Savior.
Jesus, You will always have my heart.

As a writer of both stories and songs I'm intrigued by this concept of our lives being a "story". I don't know that I've ever thought of it this way before. So, if my life is a story, this year has been a chapter. A chapter of my life that has had more pain, more adventure, more laughter, and more of the hand of God written on its pages than any other I think I've known. Maybe if I had been as aware of Him as I have been this year, I might could say that there have been other years just as impactful. But looking back over this one, I have to say, man, what a story.

For the next little while, I wondered if you'd walk with me through "our stories." I'm going to blog using the words of Matt Redman's song as my catalyst. But for today, as a precursor to tomorrow's blog, could we just stop for a moment and realize that each of us has a story to tell. The way you and I choose to live our lives will determine how the chapter's are written. They will decide whether our stories end in triumph or tragedy, struggle or surrender.

Sometimes I think we forget we have a story. We have a story. A story that God has written uniquely for us. Now, in this society of increasing individualism, don't get lost in the fact that we have still been called to walk life out in relationship with other people. However, we cannot forget that God has things that He wants to write on our heart. Because until we give Him the ability to write on the inside of us, there is nothing available from our pen to write on the lives of others.

God has written a beautiful story on my heart this past year. And I believe this year has prepared me for this new chapter, just as the previous chapters of my life prepared me for last years chapter. May you stop today and look at back at your past year. Take a moment to recall the things God has written on your heart. I can say to you today, that my story is this...He will always be my Saviour...no matter the valleys we have to plow through the mud to get across, or the mountains we have to dig our heels into to get to the peak. And He will always have my heart...Because let's just say, he's proven mighty faithful with it. What would your last chapter say about your story? What would you want next years chapter to tell?

Here's to old stories to remember, and new stories to write...See you tomorrow...
Denise

The Divine Pause-Part Four

I can't start this week without saying what another great loss we have suffered this week with the death of Tony Snow. I've always wondered through the years why so many kind, integral people seem to die so early, or are taken in such tragic ways. I think of the space shuttle challenger, Lisa Beamer's husband and so many during September 11th, Payne Stewart, and yet it seems each time, with each tragedy, the message that comes out is what a wonderful person they were, and what a deep faith they possessed. Tony Snow was one of those men. He walked his cancer out with grace and a true sense of purpose. May each of us be able to do the same. We say goodbye to a man of great character and pray that we can learn from his life.

In our final moments with Joseph we left him in his seemingly "forgotten" place. Yet no one is ever truly forgotten. God's eyes are always upon us. But yet for two years, the butler didn't remember Joseph. Not until Pharoah had a dream. It was then that Joseph was remembered. And Joseph is released to interpret Pharoah's dream. Isn't it interesting how Joseph's life revolves around dreams. It was a dream that got him in this predicament in the first place. It was a dream that had him hoping to be released. And it is a dream that finally frees him. My, how powerful are our dreams.

So in he goes to Pharaoh to interpret his dream. I can't help but wonder if this isn't often the final and hardest test. Interpreting Pharoah's dream, all the while still having one he has yet to see fulfilled. Ever had to rejoice in someones victory when you're still waiting for your own? Ever watched someone else get a miracle in their marriage, while you're desperately holding on to the belief of your own. Ever watched someone get an advancement when you were the one that should have been advanced years ago.

What would have happened if Joseph would have walked into Pharoah's throne room and said, "You've got to be kidding me. I'm not interpreting squat! I've been waiting on my own dreams to be fulfilled. I've been meeting other people's needs for years when it's suppose to be other people serving me and I ain't interpreting anything else for anybody! (Let's pretend he's from southern Egypt.) The last time I did that I sat in a cell for two more years! Interpret your own dream Mr. Fancy Pants!"

Well, because we started with the end of the story we know what would have happened. If Joseph had not humbly gone before Pharaoh, interpreted that dream with no knowledge of whether it would have had any consequence to him or not, but simply because he was asked to, then he would have had his butt sent right back to the jail cell, his family would have all died, and he would have probably had his head on a platter by evening.

How many dreams have been thwarted in that final place of obedience? How many dreams have died because we simply weren't willing to obey heaven's final request. Instead we thought it was our time and we didn't want any part in being a part of someone else's dream? Because it was about our dream. I can only imagine what the refuse piles look like. Trust me, I know my own.

But Joseph doesn't do this. And in this act of obedience it ends up becoming the catalyst to the fulfillment of the dream God had given him. The pause button on Joseph's life was released. And in releasing that button, not only was Egypt delivered from a famine, but Joseph's father and his brothers, the very ones whose act seemingly got him here are delivered as well.

God knows what needs to be accomplished in us for the releasing of our pause button. How do I know? Because remember where we started? This was God's plan. God had brought Joseph to this place, not his brother's. Their act may have accomplished it but God was the designer. Why? Because God knows what produces greatness. He knows what is ultimately needed in us to bring greatness from us. And I believe that very often the greatness of the dream will coincide with the length of the pause. If Joseph had been called to be Pharoah himself, I have a good idea the pause button might have stayed pressed a little longer. I heard T.D. Jakes say once, "For people with exceptional callings, everything in their lives will be exceptional. Including their storms as well as their victories." May I add, "and their divine pauses."

May I share one final thing? Years later when Joseph's sons were born he named one of them Ephraim. Names were very important back then. Each one had a clear meaning. And Ephraim meant, "God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction." Joseph got it. He got the fact that in his "divine pause" heaven was growing something in him. That this pause had been about something more than just a dream. It had been about the making of a man. A man who was fruitful. A man who could look in the face of his affliction and see something of value, something worth learning, something worth becoming and then become it. Every lesson in the pause Joseph got. Every place he was called to walk he walked, with obedience and grace. And in the end God knew Joseph could be trusted with the dream.

I know pauses aren't fun. Downright frustrating at times. But I've also learned that they are one of God's best opportunities to grow greatness inside of us. Here's to the divine pauses of our lives. May we live them well. And when the pause is released, may we be ready.

These final words are taken from an interview with Tony Snow back in July of 07 when he was still Press Secretary at the White House. I felt they summed up our journey perfectly.

Tony Snow-"We want lives of simple, predictable ease—smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see—but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance and comprehension—and yet don't. By his love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise."

The Divine Pause-Part Three

Thank you to all of you who left comments on last weeks blog both publicly and privately. Integrity is one of those areas that can speak to each of us in some way. Thank you for being so willing to share how it touched you.
This week we find Joseph in prison. As if the poor fella hadn't had it bad enough, now "Miss Polly Potiphar's", as I heard Pastor Jentzen Franklin call her one time, accusation has landed Joseph in prison. Apparently, Potiphar had chosen to believe his wife above Joseph. After all, Joseph was still a servant and she was probably still his bed partner. Not a hard choice. And now Joseph finds himself in possibly one of the worst places a life could be. Not just in prison. But in prison and innocent. Is there much worse?
But once again, whether servant or prisoner, Joseph is faithful where he is planted. And once again his faithfulness takes him to the top of the food chain even in the prison. We're told that "the warden of the prison committed to Joseph's care all the prisoners who were in the prison, and whatsoever was done there, he was in charge of it. The prison warden paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph's charge, for the Lord was with him and made whatever he did to prosper."
So here Joseph is directing the prison yard games, settling the disputes over who gets the best cell. And then two powerful prisoners come in. The head honcho, Pharoah's, butler and baker. Not sure what they did to mess their lives up so bad, some burnt toast, some wrinkled sheets. But whatever they did there they were. Prison. And who is in charge of them? Joseph. Remember, not a person came in there that Joseph wasn't in charge of.
One particular night the butler and baker both had dreams. When Joseph came to check on them that next morning he could tell they were both in distress. He asked both of them what was wrong. And they both told him they had dreams. He asked them, "Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams." And they did. And Joseph interpreted them both. The butler got the better end of the stick. His dream confirmed he would be restored to his position in three days. The baker. Well, not so lucky. In three days, well let's just say, he would have made his last bundt cake. (Sorry-Can't say bundt cake without thinking of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding.")
When Joseph had interpreted the butler's dream he asked him, or begged him, "think of me when it shall be well with you, and show kindness...mention me to Pharoah and get me out of this house, for truly I was carried away from the land of the Hebrews by unlawful force; and here too I have done nothing for which they should put me into the dungeon."
The butler gets his job back. Joseph however he forgets. For two more years, Joseph is forgotten...


Man, what truths to ponder here...


The first one that comes at us is the fact that he's there at all. The fact that a lie, finds Joseph in a prison. Ever had a lie stick you in prison? Ever had a lie told to you, told about you, that has brought you to a prison? I see people in prison from lies all the time. Most of their jail cells however are still lived walking around freely, yet there souls sit imprisoned to a lie. The lie that they'd never amount to anything. The lie that they could never be restored. The lie that they could never forgive. The lie that they could never be forgiven. The lie that shame would always be their cloak. The lie that their dream was too big, their talents too limited, their abilities too small.
And with that lie, whether spoken over you when you were a child, believed when you were a teenager, or bought into when you were an adult, it has left your very soul imprisoned. It has claimed you.
What makes Joseph different? What is worked out of him during this pause? Joseph's body is imprisoned but his soul is free. Still free to serve. Still free to notice other's pain even during his own. Still free to speak life. Still free to help others people reach their dreams. Still free. Completely confined and totally free! How beautiful is that picture? It could be ours. See, Joseph had a choice on the very day he arrived. Curse his circumstances or trust his God. He chose the latter. And it made all the difference. The choices we make remember, will determine our destiny.
And because Joseph continued to believe, God blessed him. He showed him mercy and loving kindness and gave him favor.


What else do we see in Joseph? I mentioned it a few moments ago. I'm still amazed at the fact that he noticed the sad state of the butler and the baker. How do you notice the pain of other's when your crushed beneath the weight of your own? How do you even care that someone else is suffering, when you are suffering so much? But Joseph did. He saw it. And then he ministered to it.
Can we? In the middle of our prison moments are we willing to serve another in their's? Are we willing to get our eyes off of ourselves long enough to minister to the needs of someone else's pain? It is amazing how quickly the environment of our circumstances can change when we aren't wallowing in them. It is amazing how beautifully God can move when our eyes are looking upward instead of inward and we can actually watch Him in the process.

And finally, Joseph asks to be remembered. This scene grips me in my deepest place. I can hear the anguish that is still in his voice. He even shares his innocence. And he begs to be remembered. But he isn't. He is instead forgotten. And not just for a couple days, a couple weeks or a couple months. No, Joseph is forgotten for two years.
Ever felt forgotten? Ever thought finally your chance had come and yet nothing happens? No phone call. No text message. No e-mail. Nothing. Forgotten. What do we do in the forgotten place? Even after we've asked to be remembered? What do we do with that?
I would have expected some bar shaking, some foot stomping, some dish throwing. But we get nothing. Between Genesis 40 and 41 we get not one word from Joseph. So, what can we conclude? We can conclude that Joseph had developed one very valuable thing during this season of his pause. He had become a man of exceptional faith.
Faith is refined during pause seasons. Faith is put into action by noticing the details. I believe faith was able to be activated at that seemingly "forgotten" place in Joseph's life, because he was able to see God in every place of His life where God had already moved. He saw Him in the fact that his brother's sold him and didn't kill him. He saw God in the fact that of all the men that could have purchased him, Potiphar was the one who had. He saw Him in the fact that he had found such amazing favor with Potiphar and how God had blessed the man's entire house. And he had even seen God's favor in the prison cell. And because of all the things Joseph had noticed he had the faith to know God was still in this prison cell with him.
The reason most of us have trouble cultivating real faith in God is because our attention is so self-focused that we are paying no attention to what God is doing in our lives. We're focused on the "main" thing and God is focusing on all the things that lead up to the "main" thing. Or our eyes are so focused on our problem we're not even looking for the places where God is moving. We're too focused on where we think He should be moving.


Remember when we started this series together I told you that I thought the pause might be about to be released on my life. Well, not today. In fact, even though this won't post until Tuesday I'm writing it on Sunday. I just received an e-mail stating that I was still on pause. My first reaction, pain in the gut, burning in my chest, sweating of the eyes. My second reaction, I got up and went to my usual God and me meeting place. We meet in a little path I've carved out that runs through my dining room, down the hall and through the foyer. I walk and He and I talk.
I told Him I was frustrated.
He listened quietly.
I told Him all the reasons why the things that had been suggested might not work, how even if I did all of them, if I jumped through all the hoops it still might not be the right hoop.
He was still listening.
And that's when I began to remember. "You know, what you did for me Thursday night is still amazing. Once again you've proven to take care of every detail of my life. I'm sure you will take care of this one." See, Thursday night at an early birthday celebration, I received a gift that let me know once more how every detail of my life matters to Him. And I know He will lead this part of my life as well. John's letter to the church of Philadelphia in Revelations tells me that God is "He who has the key of David, Who openns and no one shall shut, Who shuts and no one shall open." All the doors of my life are in his control.
"Be still and know." He whispered. He's been whispering this to me a lot.
"I know...I know...Thank you that I can come to you with everything that touches my life." I told Him. "You are the first place I want to be."
He knows that. This pause season has created that. If it's done nothing else, it has brought me to the knowledge that there is no one I'd rather talk to first than Him. Why? Because I've seen Him in the details and my, my has He been so kind. But I chose to see Him. I chose to see what He was doing. No matter where I found myself, jail cell, ministering to another's need, serving, forgotten, I knew I was never completely forgotten. That "nothing could ever separate me from the love that is in Christ Jesus." He has cultivated my faith in hard ways through these last fifteen years of my life. But it is that faith that today assures me I am not forgotten.


Do you know what I honestly believe? I think Joseph probably had a little talk with God after the next sun rose and there was no key jingling inside the door of his cell. I have a feeling it was probably a pretty candid conversation. And I believe that the Lord whispered to his heart, "Be Still and Know, Joseph. Just be still and know." I also believe that Joseph's faith muscles were so great at that point that he could have ripped those bars open as if he were the Hulk. But do you know what, he showed the greater faith. The greater faith that says, "I'd rather be in a jail cell with you, then a free man without you." Sometimes the best place for any of us is the jail cell, is the "divine pause." Because that is where God is.
Denise, I don't have that kind of faith. Oh, yes you do. We have each been given a "measure of faith." I honestly believe that measure is the same. Unless we're talking about the "gift of faith". What grows faith however is living a life that chooses to see God. That removes our eyes from ourselves and focus' our eyes on what God is doing in our lives. Trust me, God has been moving in your life. Look for Him. And when you begin to see Him, then trust that if the pause is where He has us for this season, then the pause is the best place in the world we can be...

A Divine Pause-Part Two

Hope you've had a great week and wonderful fourth of July! I got to spend it with three of my nieces and my brother and sister-in-law eating Mexican food, ice cream and watching fireworks. We couldn't have had a better event. I also wanted to thank each of you who left a comment about last weeks post. That lesson taught me a lot and really made me conscious of the places I've been called to serve and the new opportunities that I'm given each day to serve. I'm looking forward to what I get to take away from today too.

When we left Joseph he was serving Potiphar. He had been so faithful in that place of serving that he was promoted to the head of all Potiphar had. And everything Potiphar had was blessed because of Joseph. I mean everything, his house, and everything that was in his field. We're then told that he was an attractive person and fine looking. My generation would just say Joseph was "fine."

And that's where the next challenge for Joseph arrives. It comes packaged in a dress, high heels and oh, did I forget to mention, she's the bosses wife. Not a real good scenario. We're told that she doesn't just approach him a couple times tossing her womanly wiles at him. No, we're told that she comes to him day after day asking him to go to bed with her. The first time he comes he refuses her but also tells her "See here, with me in the house my master has concern about nothing, he has put all that he has in my care. He is not greater in this house than I am; nor has he kept anything from me except you, for you are his wife. How then can I do this great evil and sin against God?"

But that refusal wasn't enough for the shameless and persistent hussy. She daily was a perpetual attack on his purity. And then she finally saw an even greater opportunity. The house was completely empty. I'm sure with the amount of servants they had that was a rare moment. So, she seized it. When she thought no one was looking and Joseph came into the house to serve her husband the way he always had, she grabbed his coat. And asked him again, adamantly, "Sleep with me." This time he didn't even offer her words, he ran leaving his coat and everything. He didn't pat her hand and say, "Be a nice girl and go back to your husband." He didn't take her in his arms and say, "We really shouldn't be doing this." No, smart boy high-tailed it and took off!

My, my...what lessons to learn...what an example he has given us to follow.

God's "holy pause" will test our integrity. Sometimes in the area of purity, sometimes in the area of finances, sometimes in the area of honesty. But it will be tested. Why? Because how many casualties have we seen of Christian leaders who get to the top of their callings and their integrity destroys them when they get there. Heaven doesn't want casualties on the battlefield of integrity. So, he pauses us. He pauses us in the place between dream and fulfillment and tests our integrity.

Now God doesn't tempt us. We're told in the Bible that "He Himself tempts no one." But, write before that passage of scripture we're told, "Blessed, happy, to be envied is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him." We're also told "be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience." He wasn't the spirit behind the bosses wife seduction. But He does allow the trying and testing of our faith. King David said in the psalms, "For You, O God, have proved us; You have tried us as silver is tried, refined and purified."

Some of us today might be standing in the place of real temptation. Maybe it's a physical temptation. Maybe a tempting of our purity. Maybe the man in the cubicle next door, or the woman in the house down the street pays far more attention to your needs then the spouse at home. Maybe what you do in secret when no one is looking you think doesn't matter, because we'll no one is looking.

Maybe your tempted in an area of integrity, integrity with your money, integrity at your job, integrity with your honesty. And each time we give into that temptation, thinking it's no big deal, the government doesn't know, our spouse won't ever find out, our employer won't ever know what we're doing, we're missing what Joseph got. Joseph didn't look at Ms. Floozy Potiphar and say "I can't do this to your husband." He saw something much bigger. He said, "I can't sin this way against God." Granted our failings in our area of purity leave a wake and hurt people who love and trusted us and have consequences of their own. Sometimes heartbreaking, life altering, family destroying, job losing, jail making, friend losing consequences. But deeper consequence than all of that is the chasm it places between us and heaven. Because the last place we want to be when impurity has been allowed to live actively in our lives and hearts is in the presence of a Holy God. And that is what the tempter of our soul is truly after. The devil of this world, and yes there is a real one, could care less if our family is torn apart. He could care less if our children have to be shuffled between one home and another. He could care less if you lose your job, land in jail or lose every friend you have in this world, what he is ultimately after is the chasm between our heart and God's.

The testing of our purity, of our integrity, is a place where God is desiring to create the character in us needed to fulfill the calling in us. If you've failed in that area, stop. Run. Flee. If you have to move to another department at work, quit your job, move to a new neighborhood, if you have to come clean in order to be free, do what you need to do. But stop. Did you know that there is not one temptation that you and I face that "is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience. But God is faithful and He will not let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but He will always provide a way out-that means of escape to a landing place-that you may be capable and strong and powerful patiently to bear up under it."

I wish I could tell us one day there will be no more temptation. Resist it enough and we'll never be tempted with anything again. But this side of heaven that just isn't true. Because the enemy of our soul won't quit tempting us even when we get to the place where the dream we've been given is fulfilled. But if we fail when we get to that place the casualty count is much greater. That is why God allows the temptation during the pause. Because when we get to the place where the dream we've been given is fulfilled, God wants our integrity to be able to keep us there.

A Divine Pause

I'm still amazed at all the beautiful comments you are posting. Especially on the one we did for Father's Day. It is so evident the impacts our fathers have had on our lives. It was also interesting to see how many of you were touched by the passing of Tim Russert. Probably made all of us grab on to those we love and hold them a little longer, hug them a little tighter, and make us grateful for each day.

I almost posted this post this past week, but felt like I needed to "pause". I thought it was too long. More like a message I would teach instead of a blog. In fact, through some interesting and divinely appointed circumstances I did end up teaching it this past Sunday, but as I reflected on it, I still thought it was something to share here. However, since it's so long, I'm thinking we'll make it the blog for the month of June. Kind of like walking a journey together this month.

The thought came the week before last when I was talking with my dad. I had just gotten off the phone with a conversation that could possibly open up a door I've waited for years to open. As we were talking I began recounting quite a few things through my life I've been required to wait on. I said, "It's like I've spent years with the pause button pressed on my life." I wish I could tell you that those years of waiting have been peaceful little siestas by the seashore. But if I'm being honest they felt more like maniacal monsoons. Some of these years of pause have been filled with frustration, tears, questions and quiet a few doubts. But they've also been filled with a lot of opportunity for growth.

Pauses do that you know. If we allow them too. We talked about this a little bit when we talked about waiting a couple posts back. But can I take it just a step farther. When I think of a "divine pause" I can't help but think of the life of Joseph in the Bible. Don't know if you know him or not. He was a daddy's boy. His brother's couldn't stand him because his dad didn't have enough wisdom to not show his favoritism. His father even had a multi-color coat made for him. Can't say that didn't attract a little bit of attention in a time period where I'm sure neutrals were much more of the fashion statement. If any of you have ever seen Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat that starred my childhood sweetheart Donny Osmond, even though he didn't know he was my sweetheart, then you know what kind of coat I'm talking about.

As if the coat wasn't bad enough to make his brothers despise him, Joseph then has a dream. A dream that has his brother's bowing down to him. Want to know how well that went over? They sold his behind. Yep. But he was lucky. Their first plan was to kill him. Fortunately for him they were more greedy than they were angry.

Now, knowing those two things can we look at the end of the story first. And trust me, as a writer, I never read the ending first. I honestly didn't even know people did that. Until one day a friend of mine told me how she always flipped to the back of the book and read the last page. I was mortified! I said, "You what! Please don't do that when you're reading Flies on the Butter." She promised me she wouldn't, but I'll have to take her word for it.

So, breaking my own rule, can we look at the end of Joseph's story first? At the end we find Joseph, standing as the right hand man to the biggest guy in Egypt. You could say he is now like the Vice President. And what's happening? He's living out his dream. His brothers are bowing down to him. Except they don't have a clue this here boy is their brother. But when they do....Oh, my word...when they do can you imagine the fear? These boys were shaking in their sandals. And Joseph says something very powerful to them. He says, "Don't be afraid. Don't be disheartened or lose your hope. Don't be angry either, because you sold me here. Because what has actually happened is God sent me ahead of you to save your very lives."

What?! Where is Joseph's rage? Where is Joseph's getting even? Where is his moment of just dessert?

I think I know. It's in the last line. He knew this was a God pause. He knew something they didn't and had been through things they'd never understand. And because he had lived all of these years in a "divine pause" all of the things that would have created that kind of reaction no longer dwelt inside of him.

What had really happened? Joseph had come to realize that sometimes in life heaven presses the pause button. Why? Because the pause button is God's way of saying, "Okay now, I've got to make you the man or woman you need to be in order to handle where I'm taking you."

Ever had a dream? Ever had something you felt you were called to do, and no matter how desperately you try to reach for it, life just seemed to move on with no sign of what you thought you were called to do coming to fruition? Maybe you wanted to be a husband or a wife, and yet you find yourself in the land of perpetual singleness. Maybe you've had the dream of becoming a parent and yet the little magic stick with its single pink dash screams "Not now!" Maybe you have a dream for a marriage that is more magic than mess. Maybe you have a song in your heart, or a book in your head, or a mission in your soul. And you know it's something divine that heaven placed inside of you, yet instead of doors swinging open, it seems instead that storm after storm keeps blowing through, feeling as if you're getting father away from the dream instead of closer to it.

I know. Trust me, I know. Joseph knows too. A lot happened from the moment that his brothers sold him to the moment they bowed down to him. He is sold by his brothers to a band of Ishmaelites who in turn sale him to a man named Potiphar. Potiphar is an officer of Pharoah. And it is there that Joseph becomes a servant. I mean, here is a boy who was the cream of his daddy's crop. Here is a fella with a dream that his brothers are going to be bowing down to him and instead he's the one doing the bowing. He's taking care of someone else's life. Getting their coffee. Scheduling their appointments.

The boy who trotted around in his multi-colored coat and arrogantly told his brothers of his dream is now being dealt with in a "divine pause". And heaven is telling him in order to be great, you must learn to serve. Because serving is a prerequisite of greatness. "The one who is the chief and leader is the one who serves." Jesus himself said "I came not to be served but to serve." Serving rids us of our pride. And "pride cometh before a fall."

Heaven ordains "divine pauses" in our life to rid us of our arrogance. To remind us of our real calling. Greatness is found in serving. Because heaven knows that pride destroys many a great leader. And in return kills many a dream.

Pride's a hard one. It's behind most of the emotions we feel. Anger-"Who do they think they are treating me this way?" Bitterness-"I deserve to hold this grudge." Self-pity- "Doesn't anyone know what is happening to me?" It rears its ugly head at drive-thru windows and checkout lines. It roars to life behind the wheel of the car and often in our deepest moment of crisis and betrayal. And so the pause presses us. Sometimes heaven even pushes on the very button of our pride in order to make us aware of all the places it hides and resides. Because heaven knows better than anyone else how destructive pride is. Think about it, had there been no pride then you and I would not live today in a world filled with both good and evil. It was pride that created its very existence.

I've discovered in the season of my pause that there is a great relief in knowing that sometimes God loves us enough to pause us. And when I know that heaven is the source of my pause, it makes its stay a privilege. I'm not saying pauses aren't difficult. What I'm saying is that when you know there is a divine purpose behind it, we can appreciate, even embrace the changes it will grow in us.

In this our first post on the "divine pause", may we reflect at length on the area of our pride and the depths of our service. There are different kinds of serving. Sometimes we serve in the areas of our calling, in our home as a spouse or parent, in our jobs and ministries. But there are also other kinds of servings, the mission trips, the orphanage visits, the medical relief. And sometimes we serve in other ways. We buy groceries for a friend. We take a meal to someone with a new baby, or to a friend who is too sick to make dinner for themselves. We bring a couple neighborhood girls into our home and teach them about being young ladies and making right choices. We mow someone's lawn when we notice they're not able to get it done.

Serving has many different faces. The one face it doesn't own is pride. Unless of course, we're serving to be seen. But true service spits in the face of pride. If this is a pause season of your life, like it is mine, may we learn to be true servants. Seeing the need and then meeting it. May we realize that there are some pauses in life that God himself ordains. And when he pauses us it is for reasons bigger than ourselves. Greatness begins with serving. Who knows, maybe when we learn this one well, heaven will release its pause.