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All my posts are now being posted on my website. A new post is up today and new posts will be posted periodically. Check it out! www.denisehildreth.com

Haven't Gone Away

Hey my sweet friends,

Thank you for your kind notes. I promise I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. We are in the process of redoing my website to turn it into a blog, and all of my attention has been focused on that. It will make it interactive just like this blog, and allow me to not have to maintain so many different sites. So, hopefully it will be up by next week and I will send out an e-mail as soon as we get it ready. So, if you aren't on my e-mail list, go to www.denisehildreth.com, shoot me a quick e-mail and click on "get updates from Denise". That will have you on my e-mail list. So, hang in there with me. Promise we will still have updates, blog postings and inspirational thoughts. Thank you for how gracious you've been to hang with me. Sure have enjoyed this journey!
Now, onto a new one!

Denise

The Pictures We Paint

Forgive my week off. I took a much needed getaway which will be a little piece in our story. So, thank you for letting me go a week without posting anything. Right before I left, my friend and counselor, Ken Edwards came to speak to our Bible Study. He talked that day about the pictures that we all have of what our life would be like. You know, who you're going to marry, what you're going to be. We've had these pictures since we were little.

My first picture included being married to Donny Osmond, (that didn't work out to well, although he has officially touched my right hand.) And it also included be a school teacher. (Okay teacher yes, school, not so much.) But through life we continue to try to fit life into our picture. If something is outside of our box, but we think it should be inside our box we'll do our best to cram it inside, relationships, careers, friendships...you name it. We'll stuff and cram and stuff and cram until we look like Monica in the early years of Friends.

But what if instead we opened up that box? What would happen? Dare I say, would God have room to actually get inside, begin to orchestrate our lives the way He sees fit. Begin to Author our story the way only He can do when given the freedom to be the amazing Artist that He is. I have to say I thought I had released my picture. I've released more in these past two years than I even thought I had to release! But I found myself, that even though I had let go of so much of my picture, I was creating a new picture. And once again, I was deciding what I thought should and shouldn't belong. And with Ken's words came the challenge to once again, undo the frame and give God the freedom, the ability to design my life the way He chooses too. I don't know what my future looks like. I never thought I'd be where I am today, so I'm sure past guessing where I'll be tomorrow. But my prayer is that everytime I begin to place the frame around my "What should be's." God will graciously remind me that my picture is so limiting. And if I desire anything, it is to place no limitations on a limitless God. Our pictures are nice, I'm sure. But God has amazing waiting!

(Me and Donny's nephew, Justin.)

A Little Bit of Change

I was transplanting some rose bushes this morning. Don't know if they'll be too happy about it, but time will tell. Change is never fun. In fact, there are times it can be downright frustrating. Like when you move and that first week in your new home you wake up in the middle of the night and head to the closet thinking it's the bathroom. Or when you change jobs, schools, neighborhoods, churches and you have to be relearned. Tell your story all over again and try to discern who can be a real friend.

But change can be liberating too. Just ask my two and a half year old Shih-tzu, Sophie. She just got a haircut. I mean a hair cut! Top knot gone and everything! I thought she might be traumatized. But when she came prancing herself back through my front door that day, she had a swagger in her walk like I haven't seen. When her tail wag, her entire but shook. And when she saw that carpet she rolled her body around log a pig in slop! She has not for one moment regretted her new do.

And being relearned isn't always a bad thing either. That means we have the opportunities to learn about others as well. Hear new stories. Make new friends. See what else is out there in that world that we've missed.

I know this is a season of change for so many. Just like spring has finally folded back the last curtain of winter, some of you are turning pages of your own life. But I encourage you today to have no fear! But a swagger in your walk. Roll around on the carpet if you want. And have a Coca-Cola with a new friend and hear their story. You just might find that change can be an opened door to an entire new world. And if you need encouragement just ask Sophie, she'll tell you. Anyone who has worn a pony tail for two and a half years and is finally set free will tell you that change is a good thing. A very good thing:)

Too read more of Denise's blogs log on to www.denisehildreth.blogspot.com

Closed Doors

I remember years ago when my dreams of being Miss America came crashing down. (All laughter must now cease...) A friend came over to the house one day as I was sitting in front of the television eating my weight in chocolate cake watching the pageant over and over on my VCR tape. (Yes, that's how old I am.) I kept saying, "I've watched this thing a hundred times and I still haven't won! My friend says, "Sometimes God closes and door and sometimes he bolts it shut."

Years later I still have to remind myself that God's closed doors are as much God's blessing as are His opened doors. Not that closed doors are near as much fun as open doors. We love open doors. We get to explore new things. We get to grow in new ways. We get to meet new people. Kind of like what I think going on the Amazing Race would be like! But I've already bored you with that adventure.

But can my heart acknowledge God, appreciate God, have faith in God, even when He closes the door. Had to face that today. Last Wednesday at our Bible Study I had asked all of our ladies to fast together today. And of course, what do I get, but a letter in the inbox of my e-mail that is another closed door. Once again, I had to stop, grab my breath and go to the one who closed the doors.

The question was simple. "Do you trust me even when I close doors?" I felt like Peter with my answer, "Lord, where else would I go."

I have nothing profound this week. (No laughing again...) Just a simple question to each of us. Will we trust God even with the closed doors. Because they are as much His love and mercy as those that He opens. I don't know about you, but I'm not real good with options anyway. So, as long as He opens the one that is His perfect one, then that is perfectly fine with me...

Telling Your Story

I teach a weekly Bible Study and we are studying the book of Esther. Esther seems to be the topic of the times. When I began writing the curriculum for our study over Thanksgiving, I had no idea that Beth Moore was going to have a new study come out of Esther as well. A couple weeks after Christmas, I got a letter from my friend Robert Sterns in Israel, who said he was working on a new book about Esther. Like I said, looks like we have something to learn from Esther.

As we go into our lesson tomorrow Esther is going to approach the king. It is her moment. I can kind of hear the over done beauty pageant version of "This is the Moment" playing on the palace muzak in the background. But something has been stirring in my heart since the Lord placed this study on my heart six months ago. That it is no accident that you and I are alive during this time. We were the ones, chosen before the foundations of the world, to live during this time. With all of its chaos, all of its technology, all of its self-absorption, and all of its desperate need.

And each one of us has a story. Twice before Mordecai has told Esther she can't tell her story. But at the end of Chapter four he makes it clear that this might be the very reason she has come to the kingdom, been chosen as queen. Basically, girl this is your moment and you better show up or your booty is toast. Don't think those palace walls are going to protect you when you're looking destiny in the face and refuse to follow through.

I love a good story. Just got finished reading three good books recently, only one of which has come out yet. It is my book pick for this month, A Hundred Years of Happiness. I love the power of a story. I also love to hear people's stories. Each week in our Bible Study we have a personal testimony. Been a while since you've heard one of those at church? But each week someone comes up after the study and tells how that person's testimony ministered to their hearts. Why? Because we've all got a story.

I started a single's blog called Flying Solo because of the process and story of my divorce. Each week I tell part of my story. We get letters all the time of people's whose lives have been touched because of the stories and personal testimonies that they read each month.

You have a story too you know. A story that someone needs to hear. It doesn't mean you have to get up behind the pulpit Sunday morning and bare your soul, but someone might could stand to hear it over a cup of coffee, at a Thursday night dinner, or over the phone when they've had a really bad day. Your place of encouragement, your moment of crisis, your victory, your challenges, your story...someone needs to hear it.

Someone else could have done Esther's job. Mordecai made that really clear. "Esther, you don't show up, trust me, someone else will be there to do the job." But God wanted to use Esther. He wants to use you and me too. We don't need a theological degree. We just need time and a willing heart...because everyone has a story. Whether you've written a book or not, God has written one with your life. And someone needs, no, is desperate to read it.

Do Miracles Still Happen?

I was studying yesterday, working on my Bible Study lesson for Wednesday, when I came across an article. The writer said, "We know miracles no longer happen." Made me stop. I thought, well you never met my friend Roy who was completely healed of cancer. Or my girlfriend who was healed of the HPV virus. Or my dad who was completely healed of Sugar Diabetes. Or my older brother who was healed of epilepsy. Didn't find it strange that he had never seen miracles, because he didn't believe they were possible.

Kind of reminded me of Proverbs 18:21 that says, "Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." I was teaching on this passage of scripture a couple weeks ago. Remembering that what I speak holds in itself the power of life and death. And the fruit of it will be what comes to fruition in my own life. A year ago I was doing Beth Moore's study on Daniel. She was talking about the difficult situations of life, the moments when we need a miracle. And she said, "Sometimes we can be delivered from the fire. Sometimes we can be delivered through the fire. Sometimes we can be delivered by the fire." But that she always prayed with all of her heart to be delivered from the fire. My kind of girl!

There are many people who never find healing. Cancer takes them. Heart Attacks snuff out their lives. And death happens. It is a part of this cycle of life. And I'm not here to debate the "why some do and why some don't." I'm just here to remind us that miracles still happen.

But greater than the healing of our bodies to me is the healing of our soul. I believe miracles still happen, because I don't believe there is any greater miracle than a heart that believes they can be made whole. When someone comes to believe that Jesus Christ can redeem them, there is no greater miracle.

I prayed for years for my home to be restored. For my marriage to be all that I knew it could be. But I never saw that miracle happen. But I still believe marriages can be healed. I still speak to couples on the ability God has to heal and to restore. Romans 8 tells us that "the same power that raised Christ from the dead dwells inside of me." Could I have quit believing there was hope for broken marriages when mine didn't make it? Absolutely. Could you believe that cancer can't be healed when your mother or father, or spouse or friend died from it? Of course you could. But does it lesson God's healing power? Absolutely not.

We will go to our grave never understanding much of life. But our ability to understand, in no way limits God's ability to move. He is still Healer, Deliverer, Savior, Father and Friend. The healing of our physical man requires both our faith and a trust in God's perfect will. But trust me, if I needed physical healing, I'd have one prayer, "Deliver me From!"

But God is just as present to heal the broken places of our marriages, the broken places of our past, whether it was abuse, trauma, neglect, control, and He is present to heal the broken places of our soul today. Miracles still happen. I see them everyday, in marriages that didn't look like they would make it, but two hearts that were willing to do anything to try. I see miracles ever day in lives who still believe change is possible. And I see miracles every day when someone realizes that there is no place so broken, so undone, so desperate, that Jesus won't reach down and heal, restore, mend and redeem. It doesn't matter the lies propagated by the "Accuser of the Brethren." What matters is who you and I are willing to believe. A life is only as redeemable as the truth it is willing to claim. And only as broken as the lie it is willing to believe.

I never tire of seeing a miracle. And I'm always praying for one somewhere and for someone. And I'm always grateful when a heart believes a miracle is available for them.

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Being Known

After my divorce I remember sitting across from my precious counselor and telling him, "I don't want to be relearned. I'm known." Someone knew my past, my hopes for the future, someone knew me. But this past week, I've had a revelation regarding being known. Part of it began last Thursday night. I'm sitting in J. Alexanders with my best friend from middle school, who I had not seen since I moved away the beginning of my freshman year. So, we're talking quite a while. We reconnected a couple weeks ago on Facebook, of all places, and realized that we had lived forty-five minutes away from each other for the last seven years and not even known.

As we sat across from each other reconnecting and catching up on the last twenty some years we began to recount our middle school days. We laughed over her crush of Raymond Whipple, who was the "Danny Zuko" of middle school. We laughed over my beating Alan Coker for Student Council President even after he had made campaign pencils to pass out and everything. She had been my campaign manager, and we had stunk, until I gave my debate speech, read a cheesy poem I had gotten from the back of a beauty pageant program book and got the crowd on their feet. During the middle of the conversation the thought crossed my mind, "She knows you."

Friday evening I had a dinner party for one of my mentors and his wife, my pastor and his wife, and my Nashville mom and her husband. As we sat around the table and talked and laughed, I realized that these people know me at this season of my life.
Sunday afternoon a group of friends came in from Atlanta. Some I've known for years, others only a few months, but each one knows some part or piece of my life. The thing I had been afraid I had lost through the loss of my marriage, the Lord has shown me these last few days how I am known.

But it goes farther than that. There was also a moment this weekend that He once again showed me how well He knows me. And that moment this weekend, sitting on my sofa, my niece Georgia laying on the sofa beside me, the book I had just finished in my hands and the tears running down my cheeks, my Father said, "I know you so well."

Ever felt forgotten? Ever felt like someone didn't know your past, doesn't care about your future, isn't interested in your today? Ever wondered if anyone out there would even miss it if you were gone. Oh, my friend, you are so known.

You're past is known- "Before you were formed in your mother's womb I knew you."
You're future is known- "I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope."
And you are known today- this very moment- "The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

Your being known goes even beyond the womb. Before your parents even thought of you God had designed you, destined your days, and placed before you the choice for how you and I would choose to walk those days out.

He also has plans for your future. they are plans that desire to prosper you and not to harm you. He has a future for you and a hope. We know today that earth's hope is in short supply. But heaven's hope never runs out.

He is also watching over what we do today. Our comings and our going. My friends, we are known. Every part of us is known. And we can't go to the depths of hell or despair, we can't walk through a grief too great, or a sin so overwhelming that He isn't there. We also can't experience a joy so enrapturing or a victory so great that He isn't in that too.

I don't know where you may be today. Encapsulated in grief or enraptured with joy, He is there. He's not pushy. He's not obtrusive. But He loves to be invited into your pain or into your joy. The decision is ours.

It isn't that bad to have people learn you I've discovered. It's like watching a movie for the second time with someone whose never gone before and you are able to enjoy it through their new experience of it. But it's also really nice to be known. Trust me, you've never been known this way before.

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A Second Look

Sunday afternoon I wanted to light a candle in my kitchen. I pulled open the drawer to find the lighter and couldn't find it anywhere. I had a slightly panicked moment thinking, "How am I going to light any of my candles if I can't find my lighter." That was when I noticed them sitting in the bottom of the drawer. The matches. You know, the things we use to use before lighters were made. That restaurants use to advertise on all the time. Yep, had them. Right there in the drawer, so I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life candleless. But for a fleeting moment, I honestly was thinking there was no way to light my candle except a lighter.

This isn't real different from what happens in so many moments of life. I call it the "first look." The "first look" to most situations is the view through our flesh. It's the panicked moment over the economy. It's the anger over the injustice. It's the hurt over the offense. But the beauty of relationship with Jesus provides a "second look." It provides peace when everyone else seems to be quaking in their loafers. It provides forgiveness when it's not deserved, and sometimes not even asked for. It provides us the ability to see past our offense and into the heart of our offender. Realizing that most people hurt others out of their own places of pain.

I love the picture on the cover of Savannah by the Sea. And no, that's not me. But it represents the place to me of peace. The place you and I are called to rest. The place the "second look" affords. We're told, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" Jesus is the Prince of Peace. And He has left us with Himself. The only way you and I can lose our peace is to give it away. It cannot be taken from us. Jesus can't be taken. But we can hand over our peace.

This is a season of life where the enemy of our soul is feasting on people's "first looks." He wants to hold us there, staring at the candle with no seemingly lighter. Focused on the television with a remote control that doesn't work. But both of these are still viable. How? They have other resources of power. And so do we. We have the ultimate resource of power. Our circumstances do not define our God. Our faith will determine how He works in our life.

So, we can live in the clutches of our "first look", popping Tums, biting our nails, living with ulcers. Or we can take Savannah's attitude up there and rest in the love of our faithful Father. That even if the world feels out of control, He has never lost it.

My Valentine

This month on my singles blog, "Flying Solo", www.denisehildreth.typepad.com, we're talking about the much dreaded "single's" holiday Valentine's Day. But I bet if we were being honest, it's a dreaded holiday for a lot of people who are married as well. I have a lot of friend's who would rather spend an hour in the dentist's chair than be forced to endure another Valentine's that doesn't meet what their heart desires. The card not given, the love not displayed, the flowers wilted, the chocolate melted, the thoughtfulness non-existent, the disappointment huge.

What I've discovered however is that Valentine's is what we make of it. Last year me and two of my best friends, went to my favorite restaurant and talked and laughed for three hours. Then two of other friends happened to be there as well and sat down at our table and we talked and laughed some more. We brought each other chocolate and flowers and company. And it was one of the most wonderful Valentine's I've ever had.

This year will be much the same. A good friend, a good movie, a big Coca-Cola, but I've added something different this year. I'm mailing cards to some special people in my life. I quit mailing Christmas Cards a while back, but this year, I wanted to celebrate this day, celebrating the people who I love.

You know, I've learned through pain and heartache that no person will ever meet all of our needs. That's why their human. Yet so many people live their entire lives placing all of their expectations on living a satisfied life on how another person performs in theirs. And they spend their lives perpetually disappointed. No person will ever meet all of your needs. Your spouse can hurt you, Your children will leave you, (at least one can hope), Your friends can disappoint you, but only one will never fail.

Jesus is so cool, he knew we would have this as an issue, so he put someone with an "extreme" case right in the Bible so we could have an example. He decides to make a pit stop one day in Samaria. It's not on the agenda. Didn't google "Neat places to hang out in the area." No, He's God and He knew, this was a place He needed to go. So, He gets to Samaria, hangs out by the water cooler, or well, and waits. And that's when she shows up.

Now, she didn't come with the other women. Why? Because she's an outcast. Long since kicked out of the "girls" club. Her friends walked away. Betrayed her. Left her. Abandoned her. You pick the adjective. So, she comes by herself, in the brutal heat of the day. But this day is different. This day someone is waiting. He tells her if she knew who He was that she would ask Him for water. Because His water would allow her to never thirst again. She becomes slightly indignant, basically asking Him who He thinks He is.

Then he throws the bomb. Why don't you go get your husband? Now, don't think for a moment He asked a question because He didn't know the answer. Remember, Jesus always knows the answer. He asked the question, because just like us, we have to come to our own revelations of our own hearts before change can ever occur. People can tell us things a thousand times, but until we have our own personal revelation, change won't happen.

I can imagine her lowering her jug to her hip, dropping her head, kicking the sand with her sandal. "I don't have a husband."

"Bingo!" Well, Jesus didn't say Bingo, but he was probably thinking it. "You spoke right. In fact, you've had five! And the man you're with now isn't one of them."

Drink of me and you'll never thirst again....

So many of us have drunk at the well of relationships for so long that we don't know what we look like without one. We don't know how to be alone. How to let God love us in our deep places. We are defined by our relationships. Without be wife, husband, mother, father, boy-friend, girl-friend, we think we have no identity. Somehow, "child of God," "beloved", "daughter", "son", "precious ones", doesn't seem to be enough. Yet, we like the woman at the well, stay perpetually thirsty. We stay continually disappointed. Never quite fulfilled. Why? Because that water will always leave us thirsty. No person will ever satisfy what only God can fill. Go ahead and try if you want. And then you can try again. But trust me on this one, no person will ever satisfy what only God can fill. That's why David said, "Lord, my expectation is from you." It's not on my spouse. It's not on my children. It's not on my parents. It is on you.

You know what is so amazing about the story of the woman at the well? When she ran from the well that day to go tell the city that loathed her, rebuffed her, disregarded her, about the Jesus that had changed her life, she left her water jug. Yep, the very thing she thought she had gone there to fill up seemed useless in the light of what God had given her. I'm not going to say there will come a day when the people that we love will be irrelevant. What I am going to say is that when Jesus becomes the center of our Joy, then all of the other relationships in our life come to a place of proper perspective. And our expectation is not from them, but from God. And when He is the center, everything else works better.

Want the perfect Valentines? Place the expectations of your heart and life on your heavenly Father. He never disappoints. Then, spend the day celebrating the people you love, knowing that if they never loved you the way you desire, or maybe even the way you deserve, you are always loved to the depth of your soul by the one who matters most. Happy Valentines my friends.

25 Random Things

Okay- so Facebook has sucked me in to its lively discourse. A friend told me when I got on there, "Welcome to the vortex that is Facebook." I told her "this will not consume me!" Then I found old friends I haven't talked to in years. I found people I had gone to school with from all over and couldn't believe I had lived this long without getting on Facebook. Then, I realized how you can stay connected with people and let them know what you're doing. Then came the 25 Random Things About Me, notes that I kept getting. I was like, "I'm never doing that." Well, here I am. Doing that. I think I'm going to stop saying, "I'm never doing that." Unless of course we're talking about jumping out of planes or eating bugs. I can assure you, I'm never doing that. So, here is my contribution to the Facebook vortex. And if you're on there you're more than welcome to become my friend. Can't promise I'll always be able to respond, but I can promise that it is one of the coolest things I've ever done. Do people still say cool? Anyway, when you get through reading these, go write your own. You will find it harder than you think. I promise. The Facebook Experience 25 Random things about me. 1- I’ve never broken a bone. 2- I was born in Hagerstown, MD- It is below the Mason Dixon Line so I am southern 3- I’ve attended 10 different schools 4- I’ve lived in 13 different houses 5- I once sang both an Italian aria and a German aria for my final grade in Vocal Performance my Freshman Year at The College of Charleston. 6- I’ve visited 10 different countries. My favorite was Austria. 7- I traveled to England when I was 13 in a touring Theater Group for 3 weeks without my mother. (What was she thinking!) 8- The first man I planned on marrying was Donny Osmond. Unfortunately, he never planned on it... 9- I’m yet to decorate my own house. Going to decorate my next one! 10- I was once written up in the “criminal” section of my College Newspaper. 11- I worked for 3 years as a Senate Page for the South Carolina Senate. 12- I worked as a DJ in college for 3 years at the radio station in my hometown. 13- I once sang to “John Black” from Days of Our Lives who just got the boot! 14- I performed for two years at the Piccolo Spoleto Festival in two different plays in Charleston, South Carolina 15- I never use my first two initials together- Why you ask? Because my name is Valerie Denise… 16- I use to love to swing lizards by their tales until they fell off. I learned this from my older brother. 17- I once wanted Katie Couric’s job. Until I realized what time she had to get up. 18- If I could do any job other than what I do, I’d be a labor and delivery nurse. I was in the room for the birth of two of my nieces and it is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. 19- I was in the room when someone passed away. That too is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. 20- I took my driver’s test on a stick shift and have loved driving them ever since. 21- My dream is to one day to have my own piece of the world with horses and dogs and no houses within 500 acres. 22- I make the best homemade biscuits and fried chicken you’d ever want to eat. Well, after my mama. 23- I can’t stand to hear people file their nails. 24- If I were rich, the one indulgence I would give myself is having fresh flowers all the time. 25- I use to be addicted to sweat tea instead of Coca-Cola. (You just fell out of your chair didn’t you!)

Facing Fears

Since this is all about enjoying life, few things make me happier or feel more alive than going to the circus. I'm not sure when it started, but when I was little my parents would take us to the Ringling Brothers anytime it would come to town.

So, every year that it comes to Nashville I head to get tickets. As I was sitting there last night with three of my closest friends my heart always skips a beat whenever the trapeze artists come out. I'm deathly afraid of heights. I've always said that if I was going to bungee jump or jump out of an airplane I'd have to be knocked out and pushed over. That is the only way you'd get me down. (Thus the reason I probably wouldn't be so great on the Amazing Race...)

So last night when Mr. Trapeze Man took off, I leaned over and asked my friend Karol, "How do you think they get past the fear?" She said, "Because they've already fallen and they know what it feels like." I said, "That's good." I realized there was so much truth in that statement. That so much of fear is what is perceived. It has nothing to do with truth. But everything to do with what we perceive might be.

Kind of like my mother Saturday night. I had gone out to dinner with friends and got in the car and saw that she had called me four times. She never calls me that much. But we had been talking earlier that day and I had to get off the phone because I was lost and had to figure out where I was going. She didn't hear from me again so had come to the conclusion that I was really lost! A perceived fear.

Gets me to wondering how many things in life I have missed because of a perceived fear. Wonder if I really would enjoy bungee jumping? I'm thinking not, but just for the sake of argument. I don't want to live my life afraid. I want to live my life in that perfect place of love that casts out all fear. Granted we need wisdom, but not fear. A healthy respect, but not fear. My friend Tommy said last night as we left the circus that it was that respect that kept them safe. Not fear.

My, what we can learn from the circus. May this new year be a year where our fears no longer hold us captive. May this be a new year where being alive and enjoying the moment is not apologized for. And may this be a year when we'd no longer live our lives by things we perceive, but only by things we know to be true. And when we're through let's grab some friends along for the ride. Granted I doubt we'll be as cute as this group, and hopefully not as large, but I've learned that living is a lot more enjoyable when you're doing it with others...

More than you wanted to know...

Recent Interview with Nora St. Laurent of Finding Hope Through Fiction:

Out of all the hats that you have worn over the years, public speaker, author, singer, song writer etc; what hat has been the most rewarding for you and the most fulfilling?

I’ve been teaching now for ten years. That by far is the most fulfilling to me. This past year I began a new Bible Study in my community and there is just something special about being able to talk one on one with ladies, break the word of God and watch it come alive in their hearts. There is honestly nothing more powerful to me than that.

Some writers plot out what they are going to write step by step and other say they write by the seat-of-their-pants, which style of writing best describes your style?

Distraction of Purity
Oh my, I’m a “write as I go” kind of girl. I like to see where the story takes me. I always know where I’ll start and where I’ll finish, but I like to give the characters the opportunity to let their story play out. And it’s like I just get to stand on the sidelines and watch it play out. I’ve had characters die, that when I sat down to write that morning had no idea that they would end up dead! Now, what is more exciting than that? Not the dead thing…just the ability to let the story lead you…

What inspires you to write? What inspires you when you write?
You know, I’m not sure that one thing inspires me to write. It’s really multiple things. The story itself inspires me. When you’re a writer, there is a story inside of you that you can’t keep there. You have to get it out. You have to get it on the page. I have people come up to me all the time that say, “I’m going to write a book one day.” But a writer doesn’t wait for “one day.” A writer has to write. You just can’t help it.

The other thing that motivates me is knowing that I have the opportunity to tell a story that can touch and possibly change someone in some way. Maybe it offers them some hope, stirs up their passion, calms a fear, or speaks to a place of pain and brings healing. That is so important to me. I’ve never wanted to write a book that is simply, “a good read.” It is always about telling a story that will touch the very heart of the reader.

Is being an author everything you thought it would be? If not, what has been surprising to you? Please explain.

You know, I never planned on being a writer. It just kind of was revealed to me through doors of opportunity. So, I didn’t grow up thinking, “One day I’m going to be John Grisham.” Most surprising…Not everyone makes John Grisham’s money!

I know from your newsletter that you spent the summer in Atlanta. What site seeing did you enjoy most? What stood out to you on this trip that you didn't know about Atlanta before?
I’ve always loved Atlanta. I’ve traveled through there for the last seventeen years going from my home in Nashville, back to my hometown in South Carolina. Some of my closest friends live there, so it’s always worth stopping in. But most people that know me, know that I am completely addicted to Coca-Cola. Not even afraid to admit it. I mean, after all they say admitting your addictions is the first step to getting rid of them. So, if I ever to decide to give it up, I’ve already taken the first step!
But Atlanta recently opened the Coca-Cola museum. How green is my valley? So, when I got to come see you last year, my mom and I spent some time there and this summer, on my nieces annual trip to visit Aunt Niecy, we took them to the museum again. So, yeah, Atlanta now holds a much deeper appreciation for me…
You said that it has been difficult to blog I'm so glad that you have pushed through that block. Your writing is very moving,thought provoking,motivational; you bring scripture to life. Where do you get your inspiration to write like that?
I bucked blogging for quite a while. Now I blog for three different blogs! For me I just have trouble coming to terms with the fact that people care what you think. That people actually read them. Probably because I don’t read any blogs…When I started my first blog Where Living and Life Meet it was really just to stay connected with my readers until a new book came out. I thought it would be light, fun, just information kind of like my monthly newsletter. But it quickly changed into more of a teaching blog.
I’ve always had a deep passion for the word of God. That has been accentuated through my years of teaching Sunday School, speaking at churches, women’s conferences and for the Billy Graham Association. About seven years ago I went through a two year Bible Leadership program and have just continued to study the Bible. I’ve taught a Community Bible Study for the last four years and trust me, teaching the Word of God teaches the teacher!
In the October Newsletter you've mentioned that you are starting a NEW BLOG!You said that the blog will be called "Flying Solo". Your description of the blog will be written with "singles" in mind. Singles of all kinds, widowed, divorced, always single, young singles. Would you like to elaborate on where your new blog is headed? What do you hope God will accomplish through you and your blog? Please Explain?

This blog came out of my most personal pain. In the summer of 07 I walked through the heartbreaking loss of my thirteen year marriage. It was painful in the deepest sense of the word. But I made some decisions in the very beginning of that journey. The first one was, the enemy may have stolen my marriage, but he wouldn’t rob another day from me through anger or bitterness. The other one was I found an amazing counselor who walked the journey out with me so well. When I first went in his office I said, “I want to do whatever I need to to get through this journey well, because I don’t want to be a year down the road still having to heal from bitter and broken places. So, I entered head first into my grief. I didn’t get to “free parking” and take a free ride back to “Go.” I stopped at every place, grieved it, yelled through it, laughed through it and experienced every part of it.
I’ve thought often through this journey how there was so much to be shared through it. So, back in August, I was in Poland to minister at a church and was just getting ready one morning when the idea of beginning a blog for singles came to me. Every idea for it came to me that morning and when I got home one of my precious friends committed to working the blog for me and we’ve been amazed at the response. See, what I’ve discovered is that people who are any stage of singleness often wish this time away in longing for a mate. Instead of realizing that this is the only season in their life when God can have them all to Himself. What a privilige!
So, that was the goal, to remind people of the joy that this journey of “Flying Solo” can actually be. So the blog is simply a place for people to learn, laugh and participate! My counselor does a Q&A with me every Friday, which I tell everyone is worth the price for admission! Free counseling! You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m always a “serve where you’re planted” kind of girl. And I am now divorced. Boy, that took a long time to come to terms with. But starting this blog “Flying Solo” has allowed me to claim that, and hopefully help others claim the beauty that being single can be.

By the sounds of your summer and beyond you have been (almost) everywhere.You have been from Paradise Island, Bahamas to Koszalin, Poland. And almost everywhere in-between. What were the places that stood out to you this year? What place would you most definitely go back to and why? You showed pictures of some different food you ate overseas – what was one food that you had never tried before that you just loved? What food and event surprised you on your trip?
It has been a wonderful year. Honestly, it has been the most difficult and most beautiful year and a half of my life. I love to travel. I’ve done it continually for the last fifteen years and I’m privileged every time I get to experience something new. I have really become an “embrace every moment” person. I just breathe it in and enjoy everything that it has to offer.
My trip to the Bahamas that I took in September really was a special trip for me in so many ways. It was a trip of personal healing. About thirteen years ago, during my first year of marriage, my husband and I at the time had traveled there and so I was really dreading going back to a certain extent. It was such a wonderful memory for me. But when I got there, the incredible hotel we had stayed in that had all those wonderful memories was boarded up, looked tired and worn down and I heard the sweet voice of my Father whisper, “Memory Closed. Time to make new ones.” That moment was a healing that I didn’t even know I needed. And so powerful.
It also was a reflection of something I’ve come to talk about this year about “Alive Moments”. I’ve had to learn how to live again. How to embrace life. And enjoy the moments it affords. And sometimes embracing life even means accepting those painful places too. For me, this was one of those moments. And I was alive in that pain knowing that it is going to lead me to another beautiful place.

That trip also gave me the idea for a new book that I’m about seventy-five pages into. And no, I’m not giving a lick of it away!
And this was the trip where I ate sushi for the first time! Can’t say I liked it, but I did it. That for me was huge!
In your newsletter you have also asked for prayer and discernment for the New Adventure that the Lord is taken you in and the new vision he has given you in an outreach for broken women? What does your heart long for in this ministry area? What vision had the Lord given you for these women?
I’ve always had a heart for hurting people. A lot of that has to do with my own personal story and what I’ve walked through. But about six years ago, when I was working on my second Savannah book, Savannah comes Undone I was in Savannah working and just had a vision placed in my heart about going there and doing an event that would change the heart of the women of that city.

In May of this year I finally had the “how” given to me to go with the “what” I had received six years ago. That is culminating in what we’re calling “The Whole Woman Revolution.” We will begin it here in Franklin on January 21st. We will also introduce our women to organizations in our very own city who are touching and changing the lives of broken women. My desire is that we link arms with them and together we impact lives in an even greater regard. We have got to get to the place where we are not simply consumers but world changers. My desire is to help the women of my city learn how to give to the women of my city. If we remind just one heart of her value that will be worth the entire journey!
I know from hearing you speak that you set out to be a singer not a author and how God orchestrated you to write the books you have; where do you see yourself in 5 years? What hat do you like to wear the most? Why?
Yes, ole Denise came to Nashville to be a singer, and no one wanted to hear me sing. Which is apparently a prerequisit for a record deal! But what I discovered was just as the Lord says in Revelations 3:7 to the church at Philadelphia that “He opens doors, and no one can shut them; he shuts doors, and no one can open them.” I have come to a place in life where I thank him as much for his closed doors as I do for his opened doors. Almost seventeen years ago, a woman read a story that I had written about her organization and asked me to come finish the book she had written. That began a writing journey that has changed my life.


The fourteen rejection letters I received on a non-fiction book I had written convinced me to give a try at writing fiction that ended up in being my first book Savannah from Savannah that received two book offers.
The trials in my life led me to deep places with the Lord. And those deep places gave me a hunger for His presence and His word and opened doors for me to minister that word that dwells on the inside of me.

My desire in five years is to be in the middle of what God is doing. I want to still be touching people in their broken places no matter what that looks like for me during that season. My prayer is that I never become irrelevant. But that my life is always relevant to where God is moving. Because He is always moving!

QUESTIONS YOU WERE AFRAID TO ASK DENISE, SO I DID!!

1. If you were trapped in a dangerous and life threatening situation, which fictional character would you choose to save your life? (this could be a cartoon, comic book character, a super hero, a movie persona, etc. ) Why them?

Jack Bauer! He can save anyone and he can do it in 24 hours! So, thank the Lord my life threatening situation wouldn’t last long!

2. What two places do you love to shop? Why?

A Book Store - I can't leave without something.
Target- I could go broke there!

3.What special quality or talent do you have that would surprise people? What special event have you experienced that would surprise people?

(Denise can do this naturally - she doesn't need help)

I can raise my right eyebrow. It drives people crazy.

Special Event? I was a finalist and talent winner in the Miss South Carolina pageant when big hair ruled!

4.If you had all the time in the world (and just as much money); to do ANYTHING you wanted, what would you do?

I would do things for people anonymously. I’ve always dreamed of being able to pay off people’s mortgages. I remember the day my parent’s mortgage was paid off and the freedom that gave their life. If had all the money I wanted, I would want to see that kind of freedom for people.
Of course that would include the house on the beach that I would buy myself, so I could spend the rest of my years reading good books, drinking Coca-Cola and enjoying the most beautiful sight on earth.

5.If you could hang out with or interview two people (in the history of the world) for 48 hours who would you pick and why?
I know people expect me to say Jesus, but I’m figuring we’ll get eternity together so, I have two others.
C.S. Lewis. I don’t know separate of Jesus who I admire more for the treasures he left us. His novels, his non-fiction. What an amazing man. I never tire of reading his work.

His wife Joy- I don’t know that a woman was more loved. I’d love to know what her journey with this man was like.

6.If you found a magic lamp and the genie inside was going to grant you three wishes, what would your wishes be?

(Denise's Mom - enjoying her daughter reading from Savannah from Savannah)
That my family would stay safe and healthy- That can’t count for two!
That my two shih-tzu’s Maggie (Age 14) and Sophie (Age 2 and more trouble by the day) could live forever.
That I could have a Coca-Cola Fountain Machine, like they have at the Coca-Cola Museum, for my house! You thought I was going to say World Peace didn't you, just because I was in a pageant!

7. What film to you remember seeing as a child that really impacted you?

No doubt- Roots. I’ll never forget watching this movie with my parents. I had no idea the depth of what I was seeing. But that movie changed me forever.

8. What are some of your favorite books you read as a child?
I loved “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.” Probably because I was about that age when my little brother came along and I could just so relate to the trials of having a little terror.
I also loved “Where the Wild things Are.” Which was odd since I was scared of my shadow as a kid. Hey, wonder if that was why!

9. What two TV shows were you passionate about as a child? (you know the shows you couldn't miss each week).
Oh- The Brady Bunch of course. Couldn’t miss it. And the Donny and Marie show. I was going to marry Donny you know…And am counting the days until I go see him in Vegas in March! Wonder if he'll see me and wonder where I've been all his life?
10. If you had to be a super hero for a while who would you be and why? (you can mix and match the powers and make up your own clothing line (Ha!) you are the author here – be creative).




I would have the beauty of Wonder Woman, the agility of Spider Man, the Batmobile of Batman - preferably with George Clooney as Batman in the passenger seat, the hearing of The Bionic Man, and the clothes of Charley’s Angels! Hey, they were super.
THANK YOU Denise for hanging out with me today. I appreciate that you have helped my readers get to know you better. Thanks also for sharing where the Lord has you and the ministries He has laid on your heart. It’s hard to find all these things in a book club setting.
ARE THERE ANY FINAL COMMENTS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE MY READERS WITH???
Thank you for giving me this opportunity...Nora, It's such wonderful news about your parents. I am so glad God is moving in such a sweet way in their life and you are getting to experience that. You are a precious lady and so is your mama!
Blessings on your writing and the journey the Lord has you on friend. I hope it beings you back to Atlanta and book club!!
Nora :D