Saying Goodbye to 2008

In a couple days we’ll bring in a New Year. There is always something about that marker that gets me excited. I usually start a new devotional. Spend some time the first of each year focusing on the Lord and what He wants to say to me for that new year and setting the tone for the year to come. But I also spend time reflecting. Which is what I was doing last night.

My dad is repainting his office and had taken all of his books down from his book shelf. So, he had me and my older brother come over and go through them. Over forty-five years of ministering were on those shelves. And I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get all the ones I picked out home. But he also had some old tapes of sermons that he had preached. So, I stuck a couple in my purse and listened to them last night when I had some time alone.

As one of them started it had me on there singing a song, yes, I know, me singing, but yep, use to do that every now and then. And what I found were the words to that song far more relevant now, some fifteen years later, than when they had originally been sung. They said:

He’s just as real to me.
As if I’d held His hand a million times.
And though I’ve never seen Him smile I know I’ve felt Him by my side.
These ears have never heard Him speak.
My heart has heard Him time and time again.
Just like a friend would be. He’s just as real to me.

When I recount this past year what I recount the most is how real God has been. I think so often it’s so easy to focus on where we don’t feel like He is working instead of taking time to realize where He is. I’ve discovered that it’s usually not that God isn’t working in my life, it’s that I’m not in the middle of what He ‘s doing. I’m trying to fit Him into my plans, instead of placing myself into the middle of His plans. Where is God moving? Because that’s where I want to be.

But He is moving. And He has moved. This year I’ve watched as He has protected me, provided for me, met me in my lonely moments and been a companion to me. I’ve seen the times where He’s spoken to my heart so beautifully. Not just through His word things that have challenged me. But to my heart, to those specific places. Those places only He knows.

One came recently on a Sunday evening. Everyone had gone home after we had watched the Titans game and I just felt that tug on my heart that He wanted to spend time with me. So, I went to that old familiar spot we have, my little path that goes through the foyer, dining room and around the front hall. And I began to walk, and we began to talk. And in that moment I felt Him speak something so precious to my heart about my future. So personal. So like a Father. And I found myself a heap on the floor. And when I got up, I said, “Well, that sure beats the other times I’ve been a heap in this floor.” Because trust me, the other times with my face in the carpet weren’t happy tears.

I’ve found Him a lot in the morning hours too. When I’m waking up, before the day has started, I feel that whisper not to cut on the TV. Just to lie there a while and talk with Him. And I’ve been amazed how much in those moments He has whispered to my heart.

The new year offers you and I a clean slate, so to speak. I’m not talking resolutions. I think life should always be about turning and changing and growing and learning. But a moment to get out a new calendar, pack up the old receipts of 08 and clean out the desk drawer. A moment to refocus, reevaluate and regroup. And it also offers us the opportunity to draw close to the one who desires to draw close to us.

As this old year closes down, take a few moments to recount all the ways God has been there in your life. Trust me, if you look, you’ll be able to see them. If you’re having trouble ask Him to help you. He loves to reveal Himself. And then as the new year opens take some time in the beginning of it to spend time with Him in a different way maybe than you have in the past. And let this new year give you what He so desires for you to have, a relationship that makes Him real to you.

Christmas-The Ultimate Gift

On Thursday we will once again celebrate Christmas. A day that brought life like no other. But this past Thursday I sat ina small room, in a small church on the outskirts of my small town. The women there were different from me in many ways. Some sat in this room because they had been commanded by the courts because of alcohol abuse. Others sat in the room because of drug abuse. I sat slightly behind the table and listened as the women recounted their Christmas traditions. I was amazed to find that some had none. Not one.

They didn't have the tradition like me and my family of Christmas eve where we gather around the table and eat steamed shrimp, french fries, Darlyn's homemade coleslaw and rolls. They didn't have a tradition of after that dinner, sitting in the family room as all of us siblings and my nieces and nephews exchange our gifts. They didn't have the tradition of going to Walmart on Christmas Eve and seeing half of Camden and buying stocking stuffers. They didn't have the tradition of waking up on Christmas morning, eating mom's chocolate gravy and biscuits and going around the room as one person at a time opened a present. Or my own personal tradition that I've started of waking up before anyone else and reading my devotion and writing down all the amazing things God has done for me and my family the previous year.

No, many of them had no traditions. But we were alike too. We all stood in need of the gift that was given some two thousand years ago. Desperate need. Not one of us was good enough. No matter what demons we fight. At the end of the day we could have been shepherd's or wisemen, Mary or Joseph, Herod or Pilot. We could have been vagrants or Kings, but this same Jesus had to come for each of us. I don't know what you're family traditions are. I do know it's never too late to start one. And if you've never taken a moment to let this Savior of the world inhabit even the farthest corners of your soul, this would be a perfect time. He came for us. He left the perfection of heaven, to come to the pitiful state of earth and reach us in our humanness. Like the song says, "It was a strange way to save the world." But I'm so glad He did. As I recount the things I'm thankful for Christmas morning, once again I'll be thanking Him for what He did for me that Christmas morning. I honestly can't imagine how long God must have held his hand before He finally released Him to earth. I can't imagine the great heartache to know what He was sending His son to do. But God's love for you and me was why He let Him come. And I'm so grateful that He did...

It's a Wonderful Life

"I want to live again! Please God, let me live again." I've listened to George Bailey say those words multiple times over the last couple of days. Even though I'm ashamed to admit that last year was the first year I had ever watched It's a Wonderful Life all the way through. Apparently, this Saturday night when it came on all members of my family were watching it. Me in Franklin, my brother and his wife, for the first time through as well, at their home in Nashville. My parents, for the first time through, at their home in Camden, SC and my brother and his wife , not sure if it was their first time, at their home in Lexington, SC. So the entire clan was listening as George leaned over the iron railing of the bridge and told God he wanted to live again.

It made me wonder how many times God hears those words. Probably not as often as he hears the desperate pleas of many to take them away from their pain. But George had the benefit you and I have never had. George was given the ability to see what life would have been like without him.

Now, I'm no big deal. Trust me, I'm very aware of who I am. But I asked myself as I turned the television off, "What would have been lost if I had never been born?" Granted my two brother's would have had a much more peaceful life, but would the world miss me? That took me to an even bigger question. "Am I living to my greatest potential."

I remember having my own George Bailey moment many months ago, except I wasn't hanging over a railing, I was probably face down in the carpet. Even though I had lived the best I knew, I also was very aware that there was a level of living that I had never known. Truly embracing life. Enjoying it. Laughing through it. Crying through it if needed. But living it and making no apologies for it.

For those of you who have walked with me over this past year together you know that has been the message of my heart. Life is about living. And in the living we're called to do are we reaching our potential? Are we impacting lives or taking up space? Are we contributing, growing, learning, thriving, or are we moaning, complaining, and settling.

There could have been a world without us. But there wasn't. Why? Because God knew that the world needed us. You and I were created because heaven saw value in our living. Not our existing. But in our living. So go out there and live! Enjoy this holiday season. Grab friends and walk through the packed mall. Enjoy that piece of pumpkin pie with no regrets. Go to a Christmas Musical and let the music lift your soul. Turn the radio on in the car and sing those Christmas songs to the top of your lungs. Love someone who seems unlovely. Feed someone who is hungry. Risk giving your heart away to someone who wants to love you in return even though someone didn't protect it in the past. Sit around the table with your family and talk about what life means because you've walked it with each other. And watch It's a Wonderful life for the first time or the 50th. And when you watch George discover what life would have been like without him, take a moment to think about what life would have been like without you.

Because it wouldn't be the same...And Clarence might not have gotten his wings...

Potential Lost

O.J. Simpson and his story are attached to major invents in my life. His ex-wife Nicole was murdered the day after I got married. On my honeymoon, one of the only English speaking channels was CNN. So for 10 days, it was all Simpson all the time. Every second of the White Bronco chase I saw. The day the innocent verdict of the double murder trial came in I was in a hospital waiting room where my father was seriously ill.

As I watched him on Thursday, stand in front of a judge for a second time, but this time in chains, handcuffs and a prison uniform, I wondered how a two time All-American, Heismann Trophy winner and NFL Hall of Famer could fall so far. Yet it happens so many times. A life destined for greatness squanders its potential.

Often what I learn from others isn't what I should do. If I'm being honest, lives that I desire to truly emulate don't nearly stack up to the lives that I watch that teach me what I don't want to do. One of my pastors use to say, "Many people get to their destiny moments in life and their character destroys them when they get there." Oh, how sad, but oh how true.
Storms will eventually reveal the integrity of a structure. They will also strengthen it if we allow them to. The Bible says, "we glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; perseverance produces character and character hope."
As that verdict was read over O.J. Simpson's life, long gone was the cocky grin, the arrogant rantings, his eyes were now of a man whose hope had run out. Why? Because character produces hope. And he had reached the pinnacle and his character had found him wanting.

In a day and age where true character is getting harder and harder to come by, may we realize that very rarely does the loss of character happen in one life-changing decision. Very few people in jail cells woke up one morning and thought "Oh, I'll go out and rob a bank, murder my husband, rape a woman." Most character destruction begins small. It begins as we make concessions for sin. We find satisfaction with a virtual woman on a computer screen rather than our spouse. We go home with pens and post-it notes from the office thinking "I work hard enough, plus they'll never miss it." We let our home become a haven for our anger instead of a sanctuary to the lives we have been called to care for.

I believe that is why the Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to "take every thought captive." It's a new war. It's a war for a our affections. It's a war for our character. Are we armed? Because trust me, our enemy is. May you and I stand in our destiny moments and ten years, twenty years, thirty years later, still be standing there.

December Newsletter

I thought I'd post my newsletter on here, since we've had so much trouble with the pictures showing up in the e-mail that I usually send out. My, my what a month November was. It went too fast and brought winter sweeping in with it. There wasn't a glimpse of fall to be found. Nope, straight to winter.
It began with a wonderful trip to Tabernacle Baptist Church in Cartersville, GA. What a wonderful time we had together. Two evenings of great food, wonderful music, a sweet word from the Lord and some of the sweetest women I've ever met. My friends' Angie and Jineen, who are sister-in-laws, took to the highways with me, where we ate sweets, drank coca-cola and solved all of the world's problems in the three and half hour trip. I took them to my favorite restaurant in Atlanta, Buckhead Diner, we did some shopping at the mall and had a wonderful time.
(Angie and Jineen)
I also had the privilege of meeting a precious lady, Susan Kennedy, who has been an e-mail encourager to me for months now. It started one day when she sent an e-mail at just the right time, saying just the right thing e-mails let to a special friendship and the reason I had the privilege to be at her wonderful church. She is truly an example of a woman who operates in her gifting. She has sent countless e-mails of encouragement to me and God has used her in such a special way to impact my life.

I took the trip to South Carolina for the Thanksgiving holidays to spend some time with my family. There are some wonderful things about going home, mama's cooking, Leo chicken wings, seeing my nieces and nephews. I have three nieces and a nephew that I just don't get to see enough. So, anytime I get the opportunity to love on them, I take advantage of every moment. Regardless of the fact that all of that loving has given me my 2nd round of bronchitis in two months...worth every bit of it. It also gives me the opportunity to spend time with my older brother and my sister-in-law. Something that I cherish. Many of the childhood stories in "Flies on the Butter" are some of mine and Darren's best memories. The good ones only...plus he's my favorite brother because he is a Gamecock fan. We still aren't sure where Damon got so screwed up.

Mom pulls out all the stops on Thanksgiving. There is enough food to feed the neighborhood, but we enjoy enjoying it. We've got it all, turkey, fried turkey mind you, yep, we're southerners, ham, rice and gravy, butter beans, corn, sweet potato souffle, collards, (still can't eat those) and more desserts than we need. Even though she spent the rest of the week convincing us we needed to eat more.

The kids sit at the kids table, so glad I'm not there anymore, the grownups sit at the grown up table and Georgia just sat wherever she wanted to and when it was all over dad did exactly what any good dad would do. He helped mom with the dishes...You've got to be kidding me! Something about this picture is slightly scary...Maybe it's the way he crossed his hands.




The day after Thanksgiving we had a packed day. Damon, Sarah and I headed out for some horseback riding with our precious friends, Julia and Clarence. They once again, shared their precious horses with us, but this time Julia gave me one that didn't quite bruise my booty like Ole Dee did last year. My word, I couldn't walk for three days after that. Seriously, I had to speak that Sunday morning at my dad's church, and I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to walk up to the platform.

The full story of our journey is posted below this. Trust me, it was full of all kinds of experiences, a trip through the woods, that had no path, Monkey just made his own, as well as a bathroom excursion in the woods that Sarah and I took while Damon waited patiently. Gotta do what you gotta do. And I did hurt for two days, but not three. So, we're grateful for the improvement.

Then we headed out for the Family's Turkey Bowl Off. We do this every year, even though I can't ever remember who wins. I guess it's clear that I don't. I'm thinking I would remember that. Nana went head to head with Hannah. Not really good for any of us, because all three of my brother's girls are on a bowling league. Even the little one now. Thankfully I had two of them on my team and it didn't do me a lick of good. That's why I finally went to the Granny bowling technique. Which honestly, didn't work out much better for me either.


Saturday had us doing the other things the family loves to do Thanksgiving weekend. Shopping...My wonderful friend Joan and her husband John came up from Charleston, and off we went to Charleston to enjoy a wonderful day of catching the sales. Georgia even got into the event for her first Thanksgiving weekend shopping trip. And she was styling to boot!
It honestly was a perfect month. From beginning to end. I pray your Thanksgiving blessed you too. I hope you ate till you were stuffed, laughed until you cried, and we're thankful for things you had even forgotten about. In case you didn't take time to remember, take a few moments now. It will remind you of how in spite of what a tough year it's been for some, there is still much to be thankful for.




Alive Moment
This month's alive moment was experienced with my mother. I have people ask me all the time, "Is you're mother like Victoria in the Savannah series?" I laugh. Then I say, "Only the good parts." My mother and I are alike in a lot of ways. Like this frightening picture that was taken of us that we didn't know about. But we are different in a lot of ways. And she is like Victoria in many ways.
Yes, my mother has to be fully accessorized by seven am. She never goes any where with out heels on and I think she owned one pair of jeans years ago that she wore once. Until the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I'm not sure what switch flipped inside of her after all these years, but she saw Joan in a cute pair of jeans and she said, "Where did you get those?"
I saw my window. And trust me, sister has learned when to take advantage of her windows. I said, "You know, you'd love some jeans if you'd just try them on." And that was when she said it, "I think I want to go try some on." Well, honey no dust settled on that. I took her straight to Ann Taylor and had six pairs of jeans in her hands before she could protest.
I went into the dressing room and watched as my mother put on jeans! Jeans! It was fabulous. I was giddy. And she liked them. She liked them so much she I went into the dressing room and watched as my mother put on jeans! Jeans! It was fabulous. I was giddy. And she liked them. She liked them so much she put them on as soon as we got home and wore them all evening then put them on the next day and wore them again. There are moments in life that are life changing, transforming you to the core. There are other moment that are simply sweet, longing to be enjoyed. This was one of those moment. My mama in jeans. She looked good too! And I felt alive watching her do something I didn't think I'd ever see. You go mama! Now, if I can just get you into tennis shoes!

(Look at that smile!)





December Book Pick
The book pick for this month is Skipping Christmas featured in the right hand column at the top of the page. I read this a few years back and then the movie, Christmas with the Kranks came out, which is absolutely hysterical. If you can't read the book at least rent the movie. It is delightful and perfect for the whole family.

My heartfelt wishes to you for a wonderful Christmas. May our hearts take a few moments this season to remember why we celebrate, those less fortunate and that the greatest gift we ever received came 2000 years ago, and changed the world. And my life...blessings to each of you. Thank you for being my precious friends. Oh, what will the new year have in store! I can't wait to find out.

Lessons from Monkey...

Monkey's owner, Julia, chose him for me. After my outing last Thanksgiving, and the brutal pain I was in for three days, she wanted to give me a smoother horse. Monkey's a Paso with a smoother gate I was told. He wouldn't beat me to death when he trotted or galloped. What I didn't know, and Julia didn't either is all Monkey would remind me of on our two hour journey through one of the most beautiful horse trails Camden has to offer.

His first lesson. Always stand up straight. You look regal that way. At 5'2 it's kind of hard for me to look regal, but he let me know it really can do wonders for you. Now my mother hounded this into me from the time I was a kid, but sometimes you've got to see others do it, to truly realize it matters. Monkey reminded me it definitely does.

He also taught me that sometimes it's just plain fun to run. Monkey likes to run. He thought walking was for sissy's. Little did he know he was carrying a sissy. But by the time we got to the end of our journey, I was enjoying him running too. Too much of life is spent just existing. Running can be a joy. Run some this holiday! Live! Get out there in the middle of the mall madness. It will make it feel like Christmas! Spend some time living...You might find you enjoy it. Even if you want to hibernate and hide out, you might be surprised what is waiting for you out there in the land of the living.



He taught me to eat whenever you feel like it. Not that I needed a huge lesson on this. I pretty much have this one down pat. But if we stopped, there wasn't a branch Monkey didn't want. And if he had to carry the entire limb with him as he walked, he was fine with that. But some of my best memories are around the dinner table. Eating, laughing, talking..enjoying...Take Time this holiday season to eat. We can diet in January!






He reminded me not to get busy to take a drink water. Granted he didn't care if his was bottled. Any old puddle would do. But that sometimes we get so busy in life that the necessary things become inconveniences. Even the necessary can be enjoyed.













He taught me that it's okay if you don't want to get dirty. So, now I'm completely free of any shame of traveling with my own sheets and carrying Lysol to spray down every nook and cranny of a hotel room. If a horse doesn't want to walk through mud, then I shouldn't feel bad about it either!
He also taught me that there is always a way around a mud hole too. Even if that path means you're going to have to knock down trees along the way. I wish he hadn't decided to do this with me riding him, but hey, he has an OCD issue about dirt. But as we barreled through those trees I realized that a lot of life is spent barreling through. But you know what, we weren't covered in mud when we finally got past there. Granted my hair was full of debris but I didn't have any mud on me!

He reminded me that life is a lot more fun traveling with a partner. Because I wouldn't have had half as much fun if he hadn't been taking that trail with me. And on top of that I'd have probably looked like an idiot!
And finally he taught me that some partners won't hurt you as bad as others. Now, I'm not going to say I didn't have a catch in my giddyup, come Saturday morning. But the pain was nowhere near as bad as the year before. No one is perfect. Life will bruise you along the way. But some people are much better partners on the journey of life than others. Choose wisely. Drink deeply. Laugh loudly. And remember that "faithful are the wounds of a friend." When it's a good friend like Monkey.