A Divine Pause

I'm still amazed at all the beautiful comments you are posting. Especially on the one we did for Father's Day. It is so evident the impacts our fathers have had on our lives. It was also interesting to see how many of you were touched by the passing of Tim Russert. Probably made all of us grab on to those we love and hold them a little longer, hug them a little tighter, and make us grateful for each day.

I almost posted this post this past week, but felt like I needed to "pause". I thought it was too long. More like a message I would teach instead of a blog. In fact, through some interesting and divinely appointed circumstances I did end up teaching it this past Sunday, but as I reflected on it, I still thought it was something to share here. However, since it's so long, I'm thinking we'll make it the blog for the month of June. Kind of like walking a journey together this month.

The thought came the week before last when I was talking with my dad. I had just gotten off the phone with a conversation that could possibly open up a door I've waited for years to open. As we were talking I began recounting quite a few things through my life I've been required to wait on. I said, "It's like I've spent years with the pause button pressed on my life." I wish I could tell you that those years of waiting have been peaceful little siestas by the seashore. But if I'm being honest they felt more like maniacal monsoons. Some of these years of pause have been filled with frustration, tears, questions and quiet a few doubts. But they've also been filled with a lot of opportunity for growth.

Pauses do that you know. If we allow them too. We talked about this a little bit when we talked about waiting a couple posts back. But can I take it just a step farther. When I think of a "divine pause" I can't help but think of the life of Joseph in the Bible. Don't know if you know him or not. He was a daddy's boy. His brother's couldn't stand him because his dad didn't have enough wisdom to not show his favoritism. His father even had a multi-color coat made for him. Can't say that didn't attract a little bit of attention in a time period where I'm sure neutrals were much more of the fashion statement. If any of you have ever seen Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat that starred my childhood sweetheart Donny Osmond, even though he didn't know he was my sweetheart, then you know what kind of coat I'm talking about.

As if the coat wasn't bad enough to make his brothers despise him, Joseph then has a dream. A dream that has his brother's bowing down to him. Want to know how well that went over? They sold his behind. Yep. But he was lucky. Their first plan was to kill him. Fortunately for him they were more greedy than they were angry.

Now, knowing those two things can we look at the end of the story first. And trust me, as a writer, I never read the ending first. I honestly didn't even know people did that. Until one day a friend of mine told me how she always flipped to the back of the book and read the last page. I was mortified! I said, "You what! Please don't do that when you're reading Flies on the Butter." She promised me she wouldn't, but I'll have to take her word for it.

So, breaking my own rule, can we look at the end of Joseph's story first? At the end we find Joseph, standing as the right hand man to the biggest guy in Egypt. You could say he is now like the Vice President. And what's happening? He's living out his dream. His brothers are bowing down to him. Except they don't have a clue this here boy is their brother. But when they do....Oh, my word...when they do can you imagine the fear? These boys were shaking in their sandals. And Joseph says something very powerful to them. He says, "Don't be afraid. Don't be disheartened or lose your hope. Don't be angry either, because you sold me here. Because what has actually happened is God sent me ahead of you to save your very lives."

What?! Where is Joseph's rage? Where is Joseph's getting even? Where is his moment of just dessert?

I think I know. It's in the last line. He knew this was a God pause. He knew something they didn't and had been through things they'd never understand. And because he had lived all of these years in a "divine pause" all of the things that would have created that kind of reaction no longer dwelt inside of him.

What had really happened? Joseph had come to realize that sometimes in life heaven presses the pause button. Why? Because the pause button is God's way of saying, "Okay now, I've got to make you the man or woman you need to be in order to handle where I'm taking you."

Ever had a dream? Ever had something you felt you were called to do, and no matter how desperately you try to reach for it, life just seemed to move on with no sign of what you thought you were called to do coming to fruition? Maybe you wanted to be a husband or a wife, and yet you find yourself in the land of perpetual singleness. Maybe you've had the dream of becoming a parent and yet the little magic stick with its single pink dash screams "Not now!" Maybe you have a dream for a marriage that is more magic than mess. Maybe you have a song in your heart, or a book in your head, or a mission in your soul. And you know it's something divine that heaven placed inside of you, yet instead of doors swinging open, it seems instead that storm after storm keeps blowing through, feeling as if you're getting father away from the dream instead of closer to it.

I know. Trust me, I know. Joseph knows too. A lot happened from the moment that his brothers sold him to the moment they bowed down to him. He is sold by his brothers to a band of Ishmaelites who in turn sale him to a man named Potiphar. Potiphar is an officer of Pharoah. And it is there that Joseph becomes a servant. I mean, here is a boy who was the cream of his daddy's crop. Here is a fella with a dream that his brothers are going to be bowing down to him and instead he's the one doing the bowing. He's taking care of someone else's life. Getting their coffee. Scheduling their appointments.

The boy who trotted around in his multi-colored coat and arrogantly told his brothers of his dream is now being dealt with in a "divine pause". And heaven is telling him in order to be great, you must learn to serve. Because serving is a prerequisite of greatness. "The one who is the chief and leader is the one who serves." Jesus himself said "I came not to be served but to serve." Serving rids us of our pride. And "pride cometh before a fall."

Heaven ordains "divine pauses" in our life to rid us of our arrogance. To remind us of our real calling. Greatness is found in serving. Because heaven knows that pride destroys many a great leader. And in return kills many a dream.

Pride's a hard one. It's behind most of the emotions we feel. Anger-"Who do they think they are treating me this way?" Bitterness-"I deserve to hold this grudge." Self-pity- "Doesn't anyone know what is happening to me?" It rears its ugly head at drive-thru windows and checkout lines. It roars to life behind the wheel of the car and often in our deepest moment of crisis and betrayal. And so the pause presses us. Sometimes heaven even pushes on the very button of our pride in order to make us aware of all the places it hides and resides. Because heaven knows better than anyone else how destructive pride is. Think about it, had there been no pride then you and I would not live today in a world filled with both good and evil. It was pride that created its very existence.

I've discovered in the season of my pause that there is a great relief in knowing that sometimes God loves us enough to pause us. And when I know that heaven is the source of my pause, it makes its stay a privilege. I'm not saying pauses aren't difficult. What I'm saying is that when you know there is a divine purpose behind it, we can appreciate, even embrace the changes it will grow in us.

In this our first post on the "divine pause", may we reflect at length on the area of our pride and the depths of our service. There are different kinds of serving. Sometimes we serve in the areas of our calling, in our home as a spouse or parent, in our jobs and ministries. But there are also other kinds of servings, the mission trips, the orphanage visits, the medical relief. And sometimes we serve in other ways. We buy groceries for a friend. We take a meal to someone with a new baby, or to a friend who is too sick to make dinner for themselves. We bring a couple neighborhood girls into our home and teach them about being young ladies and making right choices. We mow someone's lawn when we notice they're not able to get it done.

Serving has many different faces. The one face it doesn't own is pride. Unless of course, we're serving to be seen. But true service spits in the face of pride. If this is a pause season of your life, like it is mine, may we learn to be true servants. Seeing the need and then meeting it. May we realize that there are some pauses in life that God himself ordains. And when he pauses us it is for reasons bigger than ourselves. Greatness begins with serving. Who knows, maybe when we learn this one well, heaven will release its pause.