Changing Names...

I was having lunch with a young woman this weekend and as I listened to her share her heart I realized that she should meet a friend of mine. I told her I had a guy I wouldn’t mind introducing her to. Immediately she asked me, "What’s his name?" I knew instinctively why she wanted to know and couldn’t help but laugh. “Why, you want to see how it goes with yours?”

She just laughed in return. Because anyone that is a girl or knows a girl, knows that from the time we’re in grade school and have notebooks of our own to decorate we splatter them with the decoration of our new last name. My first one was Denise Gunnerson. Robbie Gunnerson was my third grade crush and the first boy that ever let me wear his baseball cap. That was only after I let go of my true first husband who had me going by the name of Denise Osmond.

A name change changes your very identity. It comes with a wedding ring, a “filing jointly” status and a life of being known as belonging to someone. And even though men will never know what it is to graffiti their Five Star notebooks with a new last name, I can’t help but think not one of us hasn’t at some point needed a name change.

God did a lot of changing names. He changed Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter and Saul to Paul. These men were childless, schemers, wishy-washy and bullies. But when God changed them the became fathers, patriarchs, rocks and history changers.

What is most heartbreaking is when someone doesn’t believe their name can be changed. I see it so often. People who have decided their sin, their “just the way I am,” or the pain of their past is who they are. Some may fight for a while. Tug at the chains around their neck, Try to pretend they’re something they’re not. But the bloodiness of their hands has them tired. And the charade that might have fooled others has never fooled them.

But the chain has a key to the lock. The “sin that doeth so easily beset us,” has a liberator. The schemer, the abuser, the double-minded man, the adulterer, the liar, the alcoholic, the doubter, each has a redeemer, who when He sets us free He “sets us free indeed.” Not halfway. Not partway. But all the way.

Will it hurt? Yep. It will change us forever. Because it won’t just change our name it will change the way we walk too. When Jacob met the Angel of God at the ford of the Jabbok and they wrestled, scripture says that the Angel touched Jacob in his hip socket and he forever walked with a limp. Even how he walked was different. Why? Because he looked in the face of that Angel and said, “I’m not letting go until you bless me.”

Why do people spend their lives with names they were never meant to carry, pains God never desired them to endure, identities defined by their issues instead of who God can be to them? Because they weren’t willing to hold on. They weren’t willing to “go there” to “get there.” Jacob knew what the old Jacob looked like. The old Jacob had spent his life running. Stealing. And living with the consequences of it. And he was bloody alright, but when he finally got to a place, away from his family, away from all his crutches, and alone with God, God met him. And wrestled with Him and He with God. And no matter how difficult the struggle Jacob refused to let go. And in the end God changed his name. He changed his name to Israel. He was now known as the man who "persisted with God." And Jacob was never the same. Never.

I don’t know how you may have thought you were defined. I don’t know what you’ve been called in the past, how you’ve named yourself, what your parents called you, or what your friends addressed you by. But I know that each of us has the opportunity to be redefined. Don’t have to take it. Everything with God is a choice. He created choice. Why? Because He, like us, wants His name to be chosen. Just like we as women choose whose name we will take in marriage because we want to know we love them and just like men choose who they will give their name to, because they want it to belong to the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with, God is the same way. He wants to be desired, cherished and when He is, He graciously bestows His name upon us. And when He does even the way we walk will be different.

May we be so bold as to cross over to the Jabbock. May we get alone with God and may we persist with him until He blesses us. May we not let go until He blesses us. Because the one thing I do know is that He won’t ever let go of us…

He Knows me by Name

I was doing my usual Sunday morning routine, roast in the oven, homemade biscuits made and ready to bake when I got home. (I know...southern girl making homemade biscuits...crazy.) Headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for church and standing there in front of my makeup mirror, magnified more times than should be legal, my ears tuned into the news coming from the television in my bedroom.

They were recapping the financial crisis of this past week. They proceeded to speculate on what would happen if this 700 billion dollar bailout wasn't enough. That was when my mind started. First the thought, then the vain imagination, by the time I was through I was envisioning my entire family all living back at my parent's house rationing peas and corn. Honestly, that was where my mind went.

Immediately I brought that thought into captive. Standing there in front of the mirror, mascara wand in hand, I shook it at my reflection and simply stated, "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind." I didn't stop there, "I've never seen the righteous forsaken, or God's seed begging for bread." I steadied the beating of my erratic heart beat and continued to get ready and headed out to church. As I slipped into my padded chair next to my friend these words came on the screen...

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

The tears fell freely. No big surprise. I'm an emotional sort that way. But I realized that is my God. That is our God. The God who tells lightening where to strike, who gives the sun the source for its light, who placed the stars in the sky and knows them by name. That same God who knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb. That is our God.

God doesn't determine our life on the fly. He didn't wake up this morning and play "tiddly winks" with our destinies. He knew each day before we were even a thought to our mother and father. Before sperm met egg. Before desire met opportunity. Before all of that God created a destiny for us.

Are there uncertainties in life? Absolutely. Are some of us facing more difficult times than we ever have before? I wouldn't doubt it. But does any of that change the faithfulness or ability of God? Not for a moment.

My pastor shared this thought in Sunday's service, "trials and difficulties are often the place where vision begins." Maybe in the seasons of our most difficult places God will create new vision in us. Financial Adviser Dave Ramsey found his gift only after going bankrupt. Now he's oneof the nation's leading financial advisors, has a show on Fox Business Channel and the 4th rated radio show in the nation. Maybe during the difficult season of our life God has a new vision to place into the very soul of us. But we have to be willing to look at the Creator of our life instead of the circumstance of our day.

Whatever times may be ahead, whether prosperous or challenging, none of it changes the fact that the God knows us by name. The picture at the top of the page is of a Stock Broker on Wall Street bowed in defeat. Ironic that it is this same position that brings real victory. Don't know what you might be bowing down to. Not sure if you've bowed your head in prayer for a while. Not sure if you've ever bowed your heart to the One who formed you, but He is waiting. Available. Even now. And I do know that if He has heavenly storehouses laden with snow and is waiting for the perfect time to let them fall, then He can be trusted with whatever place the state of your heart finds itself today.

This picture however is the vision of the God who knows you...The one who is behind that sun and tells that water where it must stop. That is our God. And He is amazing...And He knows us by name...

Don't Grow Weary

I keep hoping. Each season. Each time the first game of the year rolls around. Each time I get out my USC glass stemware, put on my Carolina t-shirt and pull out my boiled peanuts and coca-cola, I think "Surely this will be the year." We even won our first game 32-0. That win ranked us at 24. Even though we looked like the Keystone Cops the entire game. So, when I got into my seat at the Vanderbilt Stadium, Thursday night a week ago, I knew this would be our year. Vanderbilt had always been our "For Sure" win of the year. Not so much last year. Not so much this year either. My best college buddy, Beth Davis, even came up from Charleston to spend the weekend with me and go to the game. We didn't miss hardly any of them when we went to Carolina, and it was like old times. Completely like old times. We lost again.

Yesterday as I watched us throw an interception at the five yard line during the last twenty seconds of our game against Georgia, to rake in our second loss, I realized once again this was going to be a very weary season.

Kind of like some of the things in our life. We have those moments where it seems like we win a victory and it's going to set a new tone for our lives. Only to be met the next week with a moment of defeat in the very area we thought we had victory. And we grow weary. Weary in the well doing.

And I realize that life is often lost in the middle of the season. Real victories are often given up on before the goal line is even in site. We give up because we're afraid. We give up because we're tired. We give up because we meet resistance. We give up because it feels too difficult, too unattainable.

But our life has a "race marked out for us." And the only way to run this race is with "perseverance." It is this perseverance that produces character. I've learned in this life that the places where true character has been performed in me is the very place where perseverance was my constant companion.

I'm having to practice this even now. Back about five years ago, while in Savannah, Georgia I got a vision in my heart of something I felt the Lord had called me to do. At that time all I had was the "what." Five years later, this past May, while in the little tree house in Dadeville, Alabama of my friend Nellie Jo, during a moment when I was learning how to "be" instead of "do", I got the "how" to the "what". (Hope you could follow all of that...) And since then I have been putting into place the pieces necessary to accomplish this new vision. And each day I fight the feelings of inadequacies, the moments I feel completely overwhelmed. Fortunately, that is the place where we know that it is not about us. It is about what God is capable of doing through us.

Many dreams, visions, marriages, even lives are lost in the mid-season. They're lost when we've had a few setbacks, discover our inadequacies and take our eyes off the quarterback. We forget we're a part of a team, or could be, and we try to do it ourselves. It is here many dreams are lost, aborted even. Simply abandoned because of our fear, our shame or our disillusionment.

May I encourage you today with this, it doesn't matter if you're down 1-7 in the season. Each game offers a new opportunity for victory. Just like each day offers a new mercy. If yesterday didn't work out so well, if you gave up, gave in, today is a new day with new mercies, and the same promise. That the man who doesn't "grow weary in well doing, in due season will reap if he faints not."

You and I have a game to play. A victory to win. A vision to accomplish. A faithful companion for the journey. There will be moments we'll get sacked, tackled so hard the stars fly, but there will be a moment when we'll cross into the end zone, watch the ball fly through the goal posts, and hear the roar of the crowd. And none of that will be experienced if we give up now.

May you brush the dirt of your white stretchy pants, pull the patch of grass out of your helmet, and pat your team mate on the butt and get your booty back there on the field. We've got a game to win, you've got a marriage to save, you've got a vision to accomplish, you've got a child to raise, a neighbor to touch and none of that will get done if you park your self on the metal bench that runs up the sidelines.

I will say this about my Gamecocks, yes they are still my Gamecocks despite my brother's ridicule, even with 30 seconds left on the clock they were still fighting for victory. The game may not have turned out the way they had hoped, even fought for it to turn out, but the beauty is they were still fighting when the clock ran out. There may be some things in life that don't turn out like we hope or even the way our efforts strive for, but what I can promise you is that when the game is over and the coach knows you've given it your best effort, He's going to wrap His arms around us and let us know that there is much coming our way, much to reap in this journey of life for the perseverance we've shown. And next week is a whole new game!

We play Wofford! If we can't win that...well...then we're...oh, yeah, right, this is about perseverance. Okay then, there's always next week...

Every Resource Needed

Sorry for the late blog. It was a long day and a late night. But it was actually the events of last night that prompted me to change my blog. A sweet friend of mine invited me to attend an opening house at Maplewood High School in Nashville last night. She is part of an organization called Operation Andrew and they were feeding all the attendees of the open house last night, so we fixed up teacher gifts bags and served up some mean Nashville Barbecue.

As we sat in their beautiful auditorium and listened to their principle, Dr. Julie Williams, she showed statistics of the dramatic change in their student body in the last year. She was called out of retirement to pull this school out of the hole. In 2006 they were the lowest performing school in all of Davidson County. Their gang rate was at 70%. Their graduation rate at 41%. And turn it around she did. Last year's open house had 8 people. Yes, you got that right, 8 people. This year's open house had at least 200. All that in the span of a year.

I was also struck by a young teacher and the ROTC director, who began to talk about the "No Child Left Behind" benefits. Every student in that school has the ability for $1355.00 worth of free tutoring. She kept repeating that over and over. As if some of them might not actually take advantage of that. It was that repeated statement that was still running through my head as I drove home.

Staring at the headlight splattered back roads of Franklin, I wondered, "Would someone actually not take advantage of $1355.00 worth of free tutoring? Is it possible that children could have such resources and never realize what was at their fingertips?"

That was when the realization struck me. "How much do you have at your fingertips that you don't tape into? You have the Creator of the Universe who has made the same power that raised Christ from the dead dwelling inside of you. How often do you tap into that?" And I thought of all the wasted opportunities. Wasted moments of prayer, wasted moments of fellowship, wasted moments of meeting someone else's need. And all the power that is mine, all of the resources of God's grace, God's forgiveness, God's deliverance, God's mercy, that is never utilized.

I remember last year having a shouting match with God. Well, let me rephrase, I was shouting, He was considerably kind and gentle. I shouted to the roof of my red Ford rental, "Why did you let this happen? Why is this their struggle? It all seems so unfair. Why won't you set them free?! Why won't you make all of this go away! Why won't you...!" You can feel in the blank. You've probably had a few of those yourself too, I'm sure.

And what I heard was so kind and gentle. He said, "Baby girl," Can't help it, that's what He calls me. "Baby girl, I didn't cause this. This is a result of a fallen world. But what I do for each of my children is I give them every resource needed for their victory. And I gave this child extraordinary gifts, a wonderful family that would walk with them anywhere, and endless opportunities. I gave them every resource needed for their victory. If they live without it, it isn't because I haven't provided the resources for it."

The same was true last night. A young girl did a dramatic presentation called, "You don't live on my street." And you know what she was right. I don't live on her street. I don't know what it is to come to school hungry. The automotive teacher shared with me that she, yes, the automotive teacher is a she, that she couldn't understand why the children weren't attentive. And she said she finally asked them and they said, "We're hungry." So, she said, "I may not be able to change the situations in their families, but I can make sure these babies are fed, and let them know they can change their generation. They don't have to be like their mama and daddy."

I don't know what it's like to walk by an empty refrigerator, a seducing "uncle", or live with the fear of gang members. And if I could rescue each one of them I would. Yet, once again I saw resources for victory. Amazingly gifted and wonderful teachers. Financial support and assistance for a substantial education. A gifted and inspirational Principle who knows each child in that schools test scores and name. Every resource needed...

I don't know what you may be struggling with today. I don't know what you might be shouting at the roof of your car about this afternoon. But what I do know is that every resource needed in this life, for our victory, has been made available to us. The decision to be "left behind" in the muck and mire of our stuff will be ours alone. It won't be because a merciful and loving God hasn't thought about us in advance. May we let nothing afforded us be wasted...

When Walls Fall

On June 12, 1987, President Ronald Reagan spoke to Mikhail Gorbachev. The only thing was Mr. Gorbachev wasn't exactly there. But he didn't miss the words spoken to him from the President of the free world as President Reagan stood in front of the Berlin Wall. One of my favorite books is When Character was King:A Story of Ronald Reagan by Peggy Noonan. She records these words from that momentous day:

"We welcome change and open-ness, for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. This is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace.
General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

I've always loved this moment. Even had outlandish Amber quote it in my book Savannah from Savannah. But I never dreamed that one day I'd see it, touch it and have a piece of it. But last Monday I did. And my dad snapped this picture. I didn't know he had taken it, but I did know that as powerful as the wall that was in front of me, were the figurative walls that still stand all around us. Some are in our hearts. Some still reside in our culture. But each one still divides those things that were meant to be united.

As I've watched this election season, no matter what your political leaning, we shouldn't miss the power of the walls that are coming down. It wasn't until I was in the fourth grade that I went to school with African American children. By middle school two of my closest friends were black. One was Corliss Green. Though she demanded I call her "Collard Green". We all got a kick out of that. Walls that I didn't even know I had, began to come down and deep relationships were developed. Yet, I've been amazed at the racial divide that still exists in this nation. So, to watch Barak Obama rise to the opportunity that he has, if it hasn't destroyed this wall of division, it has at least done severe damage.

Then we watched as a woman was nominated for the vice presidency. Granted you couldn't pay me to take the job, but we have watched once again as walls are beginning to fall. Yet chasms still exist.

Yet, for most of us it isn't the global walls we're as concerned about because we have our own personal walls to deal with. Many of them reside under our own roof. They are walls built up in the middle of our beds separating husband and wife. Or drawn down the center of the dining room table. Maybe they are walls built between us and a friend, an extended family member, a co-worker.

Or maybe our walls are internal. Our walls of self-doubt. Our walls of pride. Our walls of self-protection. Whatever they are, the words are still true. They need to come down. Why? Because of the damage they do. They divide. They separate. They remove the ability of true perspective. The remove the joy of truly living.

In Reagan's famous Evil Empire speech that he made at the National Association of Evangelicals on March 8, 1983, he closed with this statement:
"While America's military strength is important, let me add here that I've always maintained that the struggle now going on for the world will never be decided by bombs or rockets, by armies or military might. The real crisis we face today is a spiritual one; at root, it is a test of moral will and faith."

Pretty much the same for us. The global wars we face won't be truly defeated by bombs or rockets, or even by our precious men and women in uniform. (May God keep them safe.) Even though wars are often noble and necessary. And global wars won't be won by one political party or another either. Politics nor politicians can save us from the real enemy. Because the enemy that leads us even into natural wars has at its source a spiritual root. Every war we've ever been a part of always has.

And the wars of our life and the walls we've built won't come down with simply more war either. With the war of our words. Or our cold shoulder. Or our unreturned phone calls. They won't be decided by who can hold out the longest or who can make their point the loudest.

The walls of life, both global and personal will never fall until there is a crisis of faith. Until we realize that the real crisis is spiritual. That's why God tore down his wall when Jesus died. And when that veil was rent, and that wall came down, "mercy came running" in our direction. And the grace we need to tear down the walls of our heart was made available. And when the hardness of our heart is melted by truth and our walls fall, real healing can begin.

I'm not sure what gave Ronald Reagan the desire to see that wall come down that day. Maybe he knew what walls were like and he didn't want anyone else to have to live with one. That's usually how it happens. We speak from what we know. But all I know is he did. And it did.

I've been chiseling away at my walls for a while now. Somedays I see more progress than others. Somedays my arms are tired. But I know there's something on the other side worth having. And I also know that I don't want anything obstructing my view...if you'd like to borrow my jackhammer when I'm through I'll be glad to loan it to you. I don't know if you have to sharpen jackhammer's or not. But if you do, it will probably need it.