My Valentine

This month on my singles blog, "Flying Solo", www.denisehildreth.typepad.com, we're talking about the much dreaded "single's" holiday Valentine's Day. But I bet if we were being honest, it's a dreaded holiday for a lot of people who are married as well. I have a lot of friend's who would rather spend an hour in the dentist's chair than be forced to endure another Valentine's that doesn't meet what their heart desires. The card not given, the love not displayed, the flowers wilted, the chocolate melted, the thoughtfulness non-existent, the disappointment huge.

What I've discovered however is that Valentine's is what we make of it. Last year me and two of my best friends, went to my favorite restaurant and talked and laughed for three hours. Then two of other friends happened to be there as well and sat down at our table and we talked and laughed some more. We brought each other chocolate and flowers and company. And it was one of the most wonderful Valentine's I've ever had.

This year will be much the same. A good friend, a good movie, a big Coca-Cola, but I've added something different this year. I'm mailing cards to some special people in my life. I quit mailing Christmas Cards a while back, but this year, I wanted to celebrate this day, celebrating the people who I love.

You know, I've learned through pain and heartache that no person will ever meet all of our needs. That's why their human. Yet so many people live their entire lives placing all of their expectations on living a satisfied life on how another person performs in theirs. And they spend their lives perpetually disappointed. No person will ever meet all of your needs. Your spouse can hurt you, Your children will leave you, (at least one can hope), Your friends can disappoint you, but only one will never fail.

Jesus is so cool, he knew we would have this as an issue, so he put someone with an "extreme" case right in the Bible so we could have an example. He decides to make a pit stop one day in Samaria. It's not on the agenda. Didn't google "Neat places to hang out in the area." No, He's God and He knew, this was a place He needed to go. So, He gets to Samaria, hangs out by the water cooler, or well, and waits. And that's when she shows up.

Now, she didn't come with the other women. Why? Because she's an outcast. Long since kicked out of the "girls" club. Her friends walked away. Betrayed her. Left her. Abandoned her. You pick the adjective. So, she comes by herself, in the brutal heat of the day. But this day is different. This day someone is waiting. He tells her if she knew who He was that she would ask Him for water. Because His water would allow her to never thirst again. She becomes slightly indignant, basically asking Him who He thinks He is.

Then he throws the bomb. Why don't you go get your husband? Now, don't think for a moment He asked a question because He didn't know the answer. Remember, Jesus always knows the answer. He asked the question, because just like us, we have to come to our own revelations of our own hearts before change can ever occur. People can tell us things a thousand times, but until we have our own personal revelation, change won't happen.

I can imagine her lowering her jug to her hip, dropping her head, kicking the sand with her sandal. "I don't have a husband."

"Bingo!" Well, Jesus didn't say Bingo, but he was probably thinking it. "You spoke right. In fact, you've had five! And the man you're with now isn't one of them."

Drink of me and you'll never thirst again....

So many of us have drunk at the well of relationships for so long that we don't know what we look like without one. We don't know how to be alone. How to let God love us in our deep places. We are defined by our relationships. Without be wife, husband, mother, father, boy-friend, girl-friend, we think we have no identity. Somehow, "child of God," "beloved", "daughter", "son", "precious ones", doesn't seem to be enough. Yet, we like the woman at the well, stay perpetually thirsty. We stay continually disappointed. Never quite fulfilled. Why? Because that water will always leave us thirsty. No person will ever satisfy what only God can fill. Go ahead and try if you want. And then you can try again. But trust me on this one, no person will ever satisfy what only God can fill. That's why David said, "Lord, my expectation is from you." It's not on my spouse. It's not on my children. It's not on my parents. It is on you.

You know what is so amazing about the story of the woman at the well? When she ran from the well that day to go tell the city that loathed her, rebuffed her, disregarded her, about the Jesus that had changed her life, she left her water jug. Yep, the very thing she thought she had gone there to fill up seemed useless in the light of what God had given her. I'm not going to say there will come a day when the people that we love will be irrelevant. What I am going to say is that when Jesus becomes the center of our Joy, then all of the other relationships in our life come to a place of proper perspective. And our expectation is not from them, but from God. And when He is the center, everything else works better.

Want the perfect Valentines? Place the expectations of your heart and life on your heavenly Father. He never disappoints. Then, spend the day celebrating the people you love, knowing that if they never loved you the way you desire, or maybe even the way you deserve, you are always loved to the depth of your soul by the one who matters most. Happy Valentines my friends.