Defining Moments

I've been so touched by so many of your e-mails. Especially those of you that have commented on the Facing the Giants blog. Guess blogging when you're prompted isn't always a bad thing, huh? It seems like there are many of us in "defining moments" of our lives right now. Whether we're facing giants of Goliath proportion or giants that more resemble Gollum from Lord of the Rings, they're just as real to us. And they are also defining moments for us.

I've noticed this past year facing my giant of loss how much it has redefined me. But this morning as I sat down on my back porch to get back in the swing of things from my week of distraction with that beautiful baby my brother had, I picked up my new John Maxwell book I had bought a couple weeks ago. I have it listed in my "books I'm reading now" section, and in this third chapter, he had put into words what I felt I had discovered about this last year. And I thought that I would share some of it with you and hopefully they will encourage you as well, so that we can truly get everything out of these moments in our lives.

The first thing he said is, "I also believe that the choices we make in critical moments help to form us and to inform others about about who we are." And this is so true. There are very few moments in life when crisis situations arrive that people aren't watching how we handle them. And it is very often that display that speaks most loudly about what is truly on the inside of us. I remember watching Lisa Beamer after September 11th and the grace with which she handled her tragic loss. And the reflection of who God truly was to her was revealed.

I've seen it recently with Steven Curtis and his wife Mary Beth Chapman, as their precious spirits have been splashed across our newspaper and each word breathes back the faithful God that reigns in the heart of them.

And I've seen it happen the other way as well. I've seen leaders face difficult times and all they displayed was their anger, their pettiness and their lack of maturity. This too, revealing the depth with which the Lord truly reigned in their life.

But these are defining moments. Crisis will define us regardless. Whether we move forward through it, or move backwards, I guarantee you we won't stay where we were. It will define us anew.

He then goes on to say -Defining Moments Show Us Who We Really Are.

Isn't that the truth. Don't those moment really bring our true self to the surface? When we have experienced a place of grief what rises to the surface is what is in us. When we are being commanded to forgive, what is truly in us won't be hidden. When we are having to make a choice we don't want to make, or being asked to do something we don't want to do, what is in us will surface. Are we teachable or unteachable? Or we pliable or unpliable? Is it our way or no way? Or is it God's way, no matter what is required of us?

I'm watching both in action right now in the lives of different friends. I'm watching the battle of the wills. One has suffered great loss. Unspeakable pain. And they are walking through it asking the Lord to reveal all He needs to reveal, break all that needs to be broken, heal all He needs to heal.

Another is walking through a place of personal failure, still demanding to get their way. Still requiring it on their terms. While convincing themselves they have a yielded heart, yet each time the gentle pruner comes to prune, they refuse him access to that branch.

So, these moments allow us to see ourselves. I've seen a lot in myself this past year. I've discovered that broken places are excruciating. But I've discovered more that God is kind. And when he gets through removing the dead, diseased places, He remains for the healing. He is involved in every detail. There is not one detail that He isn't involved in in our life.

I remember one evening I was at my parents and I had gone to bed and was lamenting over my rapidly dissipating youth. I'm not what I was at twenty-five (most times that's a good thing), and felt like the past years had taken a toil on my physical body, even to the point where I have asked God to renew my physical years that I felt like the enemy had stolen. So, I'm laying in bed, evaluating the affects of gravity, the deep lines in my brow and the worsening eyesight and went to bed telling God that I was going to come to terms with where I was on this journey of life.

I got up around four am that morning because I had to fly to Vero Beach, Florida for the night and do a book event, so I showered, brushed threw my hair, threw on a little makeup, a black jogging suit and tennis shoes and out I went. I finally got settled in on my flight and was talking to the elderly woman sitting next to me when a strange man tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to look at this man who resembled Tom Sellek in his Magnum P.I. days. He said, "I was just watching you in the airport and I just wanted you to know that you are beautiful." Well, he must have noticed the wide-eyed look on my face that was questioning whether he was a stalker or not, because he said, "I promise I'm not a stalker." Like a stalker would tell you they were in the first place! But he went on to say, "No, I just felt like you needed to know how beautiful you are." I offered a befuddled "Thank you." And he returned to his seat.

When I turned back to the lady sitting next to me she said, "I think that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard." Little did she know. But I knew. I knew God had just stopped the world to let me know that I was beautiful. That He had heard my ramblings the night before and wanted me to know that even in something that might be so insignificant and even to some seem vain, He knew it mattered to me. So, it mattered to Him.

I didn't see that man again. Not that I necessarily looked for him, but I never saw him again. But I will never forget what happened that day. And I know that the crisis point in my life that had precipitated me even having those thoughts that night as I laid in my bed, revealed some things that were on the inside of me. The first was that nothing felt too personal or insignificant to talk to God about. And the other was that I was looking for Him in everything that happened to me. And because of that, I have seen Him show up so often this past year.

The other thing Maxwell says is what we discussed a minute ago: Defining Moments Declare to Others Who We Are.

He adds, "Defining moments put the spotlight on us. We have no time to put a spin on our actions. Whatever is truly inside us is revealed to everyone. Our character isn't made during these times-it is displayed!"

The final thing he mentions is: Defining Moments Determine Who We Will Become.

He adds, "I think of defining moments as intersections in our lives. They give us an opportunity to turn, change direction, and seek a new destination. They present options and opportunities. In these moments, we must choose." And we must. You know, defining moments can be like the first day of school. You remember that day when you get a new outfit, the binder doesn't have any doodling on it, or last weeks crush's name crossed out, only to be replaced by this weeks, the Donny and Marie lunch box, (okay so I just told my age) doesn't have any dings in it yet, and it's a chance to turn a new page. Defining moments are that way as well. They give us an opportunity to do things differently then we've ever done them before. To show more grace. To step out on greater faith. To believe in something that circumstances don't reveal is possible. To actually trust someone else's Godly counsel, even if it hurts or is painful, knowing that pain is often necessary for real growth.

My journeymen, I doubt this will be the last time we face defining moments. Truth be told a loving God will continually press on us in order to gain a greater impression of Himself in us. That's because He loves us. May we love Him enough to allow him to bless us with defining moments.

For those of you leading anyone, I recommend this book. Even if the only thing you lead is your disobedient dog. This is a must read!